sugawara x reader || never alone

Suga x Reader Oneshot! ~Proper Goodbyes~

This has angst. You have been warned.

Also,, I did a LOT of research for this one-shot so that everything makes more sense.

Things may be slightly exaggerated for the plot of the story.

2021 edit: apparently this made people sad somehow?? so uhm enjoy but just know it's not written the best and ya might cringe

You felt horrible. No, not because you were strung up in who-knows how many wires and IVs and limited to a mere hospital room, but because you hadn't seen the only one you wanted to see in what felt like ages. Sure, you felt like literal crap, but you knew that the only thing that could heal your sickened emotional state was your boyfriend, Sugawara Koushi.

First things first, how long had it been since you'd left this room?

Well, let's do the math, shall we?

It had been three months since you had been diagnosed with Stage 3 Lung Cancer. That's right, Stage 3. Your parents were devastated, and your condition progressed rapidly.

At first, you were only going in for weekly treatments. Then it moved on to daily. And then you had to be monitored in the hospital 24/7. It's been three months since you've communicated with your boyfriend at all, and he must be worried-

No, he was probably furious. You basically managed to avoid him since you had been diagnosed. He tried to contact your parents almost every day, but you had instructed them not to respond, and they, surprisingly, obeyed.

About a month ago, you moved into your new home. This hospital room. Sure, that's a long time, but the pain from the chemo and various other treatments are nothing compared to what you felt about not seeing Koushi. He was your light, but you knew that you didn't want to bring him down with you.

You were fighting the battle. But you were losing. And nothing could change that. Not even the silver-haired setter that you loved with all of your heart.

You'd rather yourself die with no love than die knowing you're the cause of a broken heart. Simple and short, he wouldn't have to grieve if he hated you, right?

In addition, you didn't think you would be able to handle his devastated reaction if he ever found out you were on death's door. But today was different.

No, no you felt the same. Weak, sick... sad. You were dreading what was to come, but you didn't want to stop fighting. You had to keep going for the sliver of a chance that you'd make it.

You sighed, causing your chest to burn. How come they hadn't caught your cancer earlier? It wasn't right to blame people in the medical field, but they had only found the cancer cells when it was too late. You were normally fatigued with no appetite, but you thought that was normal. You also often had trouble breathing, which you assumed was your asthma that you had since you were twelve. That could've been a lot of symptoms you had ignored, actually. You weren't in the final stage yet, but you were nearing there, and that's what scared you.

Suddenly, the hospital door opened, dramatically revealing a familiar silver-haired boy, who was panting and on the verge of tears, still in a Karasuno High volleyball jersey. His face was that of slight anger, but soon faded into one of pure worry.

You were so different. You had no hair due to the chemo, you were so skinny- you hadn't been eating much, and you were incredibly pale with an exception to your under-eye bags. On top of all that, you had a bunch of devices strung up to you.

"(Y-Y/N)?!" He exclaimed, his voice shaking. You tried to lean forward, gasping in surprise, but your back gave out and you had to lay back down, breaking into a coughing fit.