Consequences | Nillie

Chapter 18 - Part 2 Noah

Mid chapter switch to Noah's POV

"Do I make you happy or not? Do you even still like me? If you cared at all you would tell me right now." I said.

"Noah I'm so sorry."

Millie paused and my heart sank.

"-I'm so sorry for everything I've put you through. Of course I'm happy with you and of course I still like you. My life is just chaotic and I don't want make yours chaotic too. And like I said... I'm not very good at relationships."

I gave her a sad smile. At least she doesn't completely despise me.

"Look Noah... I lied to you. Remember after the table read, when you first met Nick and you asked me why I hadn't told you about him?"

I nodded.

"I said that I didn't tell you because it wasn't that serious. The real reason was I just didn't want you to know I was dating him."

"Wow that makes me feel..."

"Just listen." Millie interrupted. "I didn't want you to know because I didn't want you to feel bad. And because I didn't want you to think I liked someone other than you."

"So I was your backup boyfriend? Plan B incase Nick turned out to be a total Dick?"

"No..."

"Which he was by the way!"

"NOAH! Just shut up for a second and listen to me!" I got quiet. Mostly from fear. Millie scared the shit out of me when she really got mad. "I thought that if you saw me with Nick, you would never like me. At the time I think I was already in love with you Noah. I was just to scared to tell you. Nick was a distraction. He was plan B Noah. Not you. You were always plan A. I think you have been for a long time. He was just a detour. A detour on the road to you Noah Schnapp."

Her last words barely register my brain. There was one word I kept hearing over and over again.

"Love? You're in love with me?"

Millies face turned red and she bit her lip. "Mhm"

I took a step forward and took her hand in mine. Not to be romantic but just to make sure I wasn't dreaming. This night had been a whirlwind of emotion for me. An hour ago I told her that I loved her, and she didn't say a word. Now she was the one saying it to me. My response wasn't to hard to think up.

"I love you too Millie."

I pulled her into a hug. Her body against mine, forced my wet cloths to press against my skin but it didn't make me cold. Her embrace was the exact opposite of cold. I had gone moths in the past without feeling her embrace but until a few weeks ago, I had never had to worry I would never get to feel her again. 

The relief I was feeling now, as we held each other and swayed back in forth slowly in the rain was indescribable. Millie buried her head in my shoulder, and after a few seconds, a heard her start to cry. 

I pulled away from the embrace so I could look at her face. There were fresh tears in her eyes, washing away the ones left over from earlier in the night. She quickly lowered her face so I couldn't see. 

It hit me hard when I realized that those tears from before had been because of me. That all the tears she had shed in the last few weeks had been because of me. I knew I couldn't let that happen again. 

"Millie what's wrong?"

I brought my hand to her chin and carefully lifter her head. When she looked at me, there was the smallest smile on her face. She took a deep breath and spoke.