My True First [18+]

Chapter 22

Three hours.

Three hours passed since I pathetically ran away to my room and locked myself in it.

I heard Liam washing the dishes in the kitchen. I heard Tim arrive home and go to sleep after answering the questions of his concerned big brother.

I chickened out because what went down in Liam's bed had never happened to me. Even now, in the darkness of my bedroom, I could feel all of it.

I could feel Liam's mouth on my neck. My skin still tingled from his kisses. I couldn't help replaying every second of those blissful moments in my head.

The way he talked to me, and the way his hands pressed me to him— all of it provoked an onslaught of sensations that were foreign but so good.

There wasn't a single thing I didn't love about it. Feeling his excitement against me didn't scare me. If anything, it made me curious.

Then there were his heavy-lidded eyes, clouded with so many emotions, and his heated whispers in my ear, and his lips. God, his lips.

I sighed and squeezed my thighs together, failing to get rid of the pressure I hadn't stopped feeling since I'd got out of Liam's bed. Tentatively, I slid my hand to my panties, changing my mind as soon as I remembered the previous times and the frustration of feeling nothing.

My hand reached for my phone instead. I had texts from Ellie I didn't answer— a beautiful photo of her smiling face, bragging that she had finally managed to draw a decent line with an eyeliner, and pictures of the paradise-like island where she was with Aiden.

I missed my friend. Maybe if Ellie was with me, we could talk about the mess I found myself in. She would listen to me the way she did so many times, and I would get everything off my chest. The good thing was, she would be back soon.

Sighing, I threw the comforter aside and unlocked my bedroom door, trying not to make noise.

I needed water. Maybe this way, I would stop feeling the heat that seemed to radiate off me.

The apartment was silent as I padded to the kitchen. My steps halted at the sight of Liam sitting on a chair with a glass of water, just like he did so many times before.

I took a tentative step forward. His head snapped up, and his eyes met mine.

"Water?" he asked.

I nodded, wiping my sweaty palms on my shorts, unsure of what to do or say. My rejection hurt him. I should have stayed and talked to him instead of running away.

The unsaid words got trapped in my throat. Telling him that I got scared wasn't easy. I wasn't afraid of doing things with him, but the thought of disappointing him was terrifying. Especially knowing that just a couple of days ago, he used three condoms with a beautiful, confident girl from the gym. She must have let him do all kinds of things to her. The thought of him with someone else, of his lips on someone else, made me want to curl up into a ball in my bed and stay there until the end of my fall break, hiding from the rest of the world.