Little Book of Poetry

Waiting For the Meaning of Life

Life
What is the meaning of that word
Without you in it?

Not a second goes by
That I
Don't think of you.

Each day
I long to be held tightly
In your embrace.

But how can I ask that of you
When I'm the reason
You left in the first place.

I wish I could take it all back
Seeing the pain that was held
In your eyes
Hearing the tremble and crack
Of your voice
Shook me to the core.

Yet I'm still selfish
I want you by my side
Even though
I know each day by my side
Would be your own
Personal hell.

A horrible person
I am
But in my own way
I do love you.

No matter
How bad your words hurt me
Or the venom attached to them
I can't help but love you.

I want to hold you
Beg for your forgiveness
Tell you I love you
Even though it's too little to late.

However
Oceans and land separate us
3,000 miles
Of grass,sand,and water
Keep me away from you
Out of your arms
Away from those aquamarine eyes
That haunt my dreams
And nightmares alike.

Those eyes
That used to hold so much youth
So much life
Yet I was the one who snuffed it out
Who made you grow up too soon
Too fast.

So I'll say the words here
That I'm too much of a coward
To say to your face
I'm sorry
That I'm the way I am
I will always love you
I will never forget you
I will always be here
Waiting for you
Hoping one day
You might be able to look at me again
The way you used to
Hoping that is the day
I might get to see the spark of life
In those beautiful blue eyes.