I'm back with another update. The cast is something I'm not done choosing yet. Not like it matters, you can imagine anyone you like to your comfort because I can't cast those actors in the book for real XD
AshuX
***
I never believed in love till I met Chance. I didn't believe that I loved him till we were a few weeks into the relationship. Maybe I wouldn't have thought of him more than a friend if he didn't ask me out that day. We were just friends, good friends with good memories before we became an 'us'.
I think I was used to calling him as mine. The labels did put effect on people who might've never loved each other. The memories however, are a different thing. We might enjoy making and gradually fall for the person. And that's why we get hurt when we break apart.
It's like possession rather, not love. But I loved Chance, I learned to as the weeks flew by. He was saying sweet nothings, promising me things and it felt nice. Because I imagined a lot of things with him and suddenly him not being there.
We faded away, and that's why it hurt me the most. For five years, as friends or as lovers, we were always together. It was as if we were glued to each other all the time. We spent so much time together but eventually gave in to the speed of time. We didn't race or fight for each other, we just let each other go as if we saw it coming.
Maybe we did see it coming, it was a mutual break up. Because we valued attention more than each other, we gave in. Maybe I should've stayed, maybe he should've fought for me so I would stay. We let five years of friendship be eaten up by cruel appetite of fate. And that hurt me.
If I let him go so easily, then why did I regret it? I don't know why I regretted it so much, but it hurt very much when he said I was a misunderstanding. All those promises, all those memories, it was as if he makes those with everyone. Like I was nothing special.
But whatever it was, I learned how to give love because of him. So, without second thoughts, I know how love works or how it's like. And that's why I was sure of my feelings which were developing for Joo Hyun. And that's exactly why I was scared.
Most times, love is just an imaginary word for a need of attention and care from a specific person.
Joo Hyun and I were sitting, facing the lake. He was talking about music and I was listening attentively, to remember what he likes. When a person you love comes, you want to study and memorize them by heart. As if you're studying for an important test.
"You know," He said, "I never thought I wouldn't be able to guess who you love. Because I thought you were so obvious."
I shrugged, "Guess I have my unpredictable moments too. You have them too, you never told me either."
"Trust me, I don't want to talk about love at all." He said, his voice laced with a little pain.
I frowned, "Did you have a sad past?"
He turned to me, "No, I don't really understand love. It's confusing, scary and like a maze. I don't want to be lost, I want to be free."
"I read it somewhere, "I am free and that is why I am lost.", if you know your way around love, it's like a walk back home. Sometimes, even I want to get lost and find home in a person instead of walls." I said, watching the lake water rippling because of the stone I threw.
He chuckled, "You sound poetic."
"Or I'm being a lunatic. Finding a home in the generation where everyone's lost? I've lost it." I giggled.
He ruffled my hair, "You know, you sound so cute."
"My voice is nice, thank you." I sassed. "Why do you ruffle my hair all the time? It's too long and I hate untangling it."
