This chapter is for everyone who were daring enough to do an "oops" than being a coward being a "what if" question.
AshuX
***
My mother always said me that if I had to question what we are and I'm not happy with the result forming in my head, I'm in a wrong relationship. If confusions are happy, they are the best places to be in. Because happiness comes in waves, it doesn't drown you, at least not all at once.
She always warned me to differentiate salt with sugar no matter how similar they looked. I always was said to choose the best out of best, because that's what you need to live a best life. Best one doesn't mean a perfect one, it can be anything that makes you happy.
Joo Hyun were and I in such happy confusion. We had nothing to fear, nothing to stop anymore. We were not friends, we were not lovers, we were not friends with benefits either. I am saying this so people wouldn't get a bad opinion. Saying happy confusion is a trend to be without the weight of responsibilities of a relationship.
Joo Hyun wasn't perfect but he is the best one. Or that's what I wanted him to be. Because he looked like one. Everything was going well, everything was settling back into place. That's what I wanted, a little peace within chaotic life of mine.
My mother and I were grocery shopping. My mother, as usual, kept lecturing me of life lessons through grocery shopping. That's our thing. To learn even from the smallest things.
She picked two eggs, one brown and one white. She showed me, "Which one do you think tastes better?"
"They both taste the same," I wasn't sure but I don't even think there was a difference.
She shrugged, "You are right, what's inside matters more than what outside looks like."
"I know, you told me this a few thousand times for now," I said as I pushed the cart.
"Now, look at the shelf and pick salt." She told me as she looked for something else.
I reached for two packets. I handed her and she smacked me. "It's sugar, are you blind? See, it's written over there!"
My brows furrowed, "But they both look the same to my eye."
"I meant on the label!" She sighed as she picked salt for herself, mumbling something about how I would survive if I married. We were done buying all the necessary things. We came home and began arraging the grocerices in the kitchen cabinets.
"Ji Hee, I can't hold it anymore," My mother sighed as she faced me, "I need to talk to you. Sit down."
I sat down on the dining table, "What's it about?"
"About your love life..." She trailed off, "I really, really love Joo Hyun but-"
"But?" I grew anxious. My mother always had been the one to either complicate or solve things. Sometimes she complicates them, then divides and solves them as if it was a Math problem.
"You know why Chance let you go?"
I frowned, "Why are you dragging Chance again?"
"Listen to me, I wanted you to be sure and be confident about your current life." She squeezed my hand, "Joo Hyun is the perfect match for you. But before talking about him, let's clear things about Chance."
"If even you think Joo Hyun is perfect, then why talk about Chance?" I don't understand her at sometimes. Most times. She is usually blunt, she rarely beats around the bush. And that made me more anxious and nervous.
She heaved a sigh, taking her face in her hands. "I was foolish once in my life, I almost ended my life because I was crazily in love with a guy. Your father helped me out but even today, whenever the topic comes about him, your father, gets nervous. You know why? Because my ex-lover wasn't a bad guy. He treated me like a Princess. We broke up because his marriage was fixed with another girl. And that set misunderstandings between us because he didn't want to upset his father or me. He didn't even break up with me, he just vanished."
