Guys, just a little reminder: to live without feelings is to watch without seeing. Normalise loving, caring and being a nice person, being cool or savage isn't going to make you look nice. Emotions are nice, they are to feel not to fake.
AshuX
***
The next day was absolutely hell because Ah Rin and I couldn't get to talking terms. It's ego, on my side too because I was offended that she thought of me that way. And guilt made me unable to look Chance in the eye. Because he didn't ignore me on Monday, he came to pick me up and treated me the same.
Joo Hyun was normal too, he didn't ask me what happened the next morning that I couldn't eat for days. Joo Hyun dropped by home and convinced me to eat. He tried to force me to eat at least ramen, but I wasn't in a mood to eat all.
He sighed, "Eat something, please?"
"Not in the mood," I said as I snuggled into the sheets I put around myself. I flipped through the channels in the television, nothing catching my eye.
"You haven't eaten anything since last Saturday. You have to eat something, it's been three days already!" He groaned.
I turned to him, "Why aren't you mad at me?"
"Should I be?"
"Maybe, because I'm torn with my feelings for Chance." I averted my gaze.
"Ji Hee, listen," He cupped my face, "if Chance was like my ex, I would've made him vanish from your side. You got to know about his side of the story and the decision is yours to make. So what if I love you and you know it? Yes, I was glad by the mere thought that my feelings were reciprocated but even now, I'm happy. Because knowing me, I'd have stayed friends not wanting to confess at all, not wanting to stir trouble in our friendship."
"Why are you so understanding?" I whined, hitting his chest.
He chuckled, "I'll take it as a compliment."
"I am bad at making decisions, I mean look at where I ended up with my decision making skills," I shook my head disapprovingly.
"The first decision you have to make now is not to starve. What do you want to eat? I'll get you." He smiled softly at me.
I pretended to think, "How about just ramen and kimchi?"
"Arasseo (I got it), I'll go make them."
He went to the kitchen to ask my mother for noodles and kimchi. My mother would've been so happy now that I agreed to eat. I have a bad habit of starving myself whenever I hate myself or am upset at myself. I eat extra food when I'm angry at someone else, I really don't understand how my mind works either.
Someone knocked on the door and I dragged my lazy ass to open it. Chance looked at me with a big smile, "Guess who came?"
"Mitchell?" I shoved him aside and ran to hug my raven haired best friend. He chuckled, his deep voice soothing me. He hugged me back just as tight.
"Jiji, oramanhida (long time no see)."
"Koreaboo," I made a face at him.
He chuckled, "I finally get to see you after nearly half a year!"
"I love you for coming here!" I hugged him again.
"I can't breathe."
I let go off him and I couldn't help but smile so wide at my best friend. I didn't how I lived so many months without seeing his goofy smile and hugging him. He gives the best cuddles, trust me, he is the best cuddle bug.
"Ji Hee, have you been not eating well?" Chance asked, his brows drawn together.
I averted my gaze, "Nope."
