Thirdy was twisting and turning in his bed. He can't sleep even if he wants to, even if he needs to because they still have training the next day. There's something that's making him feel awake. Feeling tired from the training they had that day, Thirdy thought he would have a good sleep. He was actually able to for a while but after a short while, nagigising din sya.
After some time of repetitive rolling just to find a comfortable position, he gave up. He opened his bedside drawer where he puts his phone and got it, thinking maybe it would help his mind feel tired.
He unlocked his phone and looked at the time, it's already 1:40 am in Japan. 12:40 am back in the Philippines.
August 2. He thought.
Of course, he knows that a certain person is celebrating her birthday, his good friend to be exact. He thought to just greet her after their training, so instead of opening his Instagram, he opened his Twitter. Maybe browsing there would help get the sleep he wants.
Upon opening the bird app which he doesn't usually use, that's why he turned off the notifications on his phone, he was surprised to see double than the usual count of notifs he receives.
Thirdy was quite sure that a lot are tagging him since it's her birthday, maybe some fans are greeting her already. So he just went on and scrolled down with out opening it, but the notifs keep on coming. And so, he decided to open it.
"I'm happy for Bea pero parang wala na talaga?
@ ThirdyRavenaaa , di na ata talaga kaya, ser. :("
That's the first tweet he saw. The next one's were also something like that. Thirdy decided not to open any of it. He just kept scrolling down and saw that, he was right, the earlier notifs were actually birthday greetings for Bea where he was also tagged.
He closed Twitter and opened Instagram.
"Certainly one of the best presents I got this year. Thank You, G." The caption, of the first photo he saw, reads.
It was a photo of Bea and a guy. Their faces were so close to each other with big smiles plastered on their faces.
They look so happy. She looks so happy. He said to himself.
As if wanting to convince himself that it's actually her who uploaded that photo, he looked at the username one more time.
_beadel. It reads. His eyes don't lie.
And he was surprised to feel a pang of sadness seeing it. He thought it wouldn't affect him now.
He knows he shouldn't feel this way. He had his chance, but he didn't grab it. He just can't that time. And even this time.
2019. Of course, he wasn't that oblivious not to feel that Bea is already giving hints after ALE won their championship.
They also reached the point na they talked about it. Their feelings.
But, before that talk happened, he already realized that he wasn't ready to commit to a serious relationship. Hindi pa nya kaya and ayaw pa nya. He wants to focus on his goal. He has many things in mind.
And there was a certain girl also came in the picture. That girl was just everywhere. Now, they are in a not-so-usual set-up: Just for fun. No commitment. Which he prefers.
He thought he has came to terms with himself when it comes to what he wants. But he was wrong. Seeing Bea that happy is making him feel something he cannot name.
Hindi na dapat eh. He thought.
C'mon, Thirdy, you're the one who let everything slip. Binitawan mo na 'di ba. She was more than ready for you, you were not. Umayos ka. He reminded himself of his choice.
He looked at the picture one more time, looking at the way Bea smile.
Thirdy saw it was genuine. He knows she deserves that. Bea deserves to be happy, maybe it's really not him who can give her that in this lifetime or maybe for the time being.
Not wanting to entertain all the thoughts and emotions that photo sent him, he decided to turn his phone off.
But before doing so, he made sure that he has sent her a private message on IG.
Happy birthday, Bea! I am happy seeing you smile like that.
Just as he was about to close the app, a message notification from her popped-up.
_beadel:
Thank you, Thirds! I wish the same happiness for you. I know you'll do great there in Japan. We are all proud of you.
° END °
Hehe.
