Chapter 6

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It was honestly killing me. Connor's words were stabbing my heart like knives, and I couldn't take it anymore. I released Ricky and ran out the door of my room. I went downstairs and ignored my parents, I just head to the front door and kept running. I didn't know where I was going, I was just going somewhere.
I crossed so many different neighborhoods, and passed by all of my friend's houses, but I never stopped. I kept going. I didn't want to stop, even if I had lost my breath at that point. I wanted to run away, and never see anyone again... Ever.
The love of my life - who is also one of my best friends - hates me, everyone thinks I'm in a relationship with Ricky, everyone believes that I don't care about Connor, when really, I didn't care about myself anymore. I hated myself. I hated everything around me; I just wanted to die alone, right that second.
A couple of minutes later, I was finally in the middle of nowhere. I guess it was a forest. I stood there, my heart was racing, and I couldn't catch my breath. It was getting darker by the second. Everything around me, the ground, the trees, the sky, they were all turning in circles; I was so dizzy. I put my hands on my chest, trying to get my breath back, but I just collapsed. I fell to the ground, knees first, then on my face. The ground had dead leaves laying there over the dirt... Laying with me.
I didn't think anyone would come looking for me. I guess I passed out for a couple of hours, but I woke up to the cold rain drops, hitting my face and skin. I was freezing, but I didn't move; I wanted to die there. I fell back to sleep; I guess I wasn't done with passing out yet...
I wanted my brain to stop working, and my heart to stop beating, as soon as possible, but none of that happened. I woke up again, soon, and it was still raining cats and dogs. I sat there, hugging my knees, shivering like a chihuahua after taking a cold bath, still not able to breathe like a normal human being.
"Help," I whispered to myself. "Help me, please." I started crying again. "Somebody? Anyone? Hello?!" I tried to shout for help, but my voice wouldn't escape my mouth. I knew I was going to die if no one came for me, and that's what I wanted to happen to me. But I wanted to see if anyone came searching for me... If anyone cared anymore. I thought maybe someone was generous enough to come find me and tell me that everything's going to be fine, but nobody showed up. "Anyone?" I said under my breath. "Anyone?" I said again.
I laid down, since I couldn't move anymore, and waited for the moment to finally come; I waited impatiently for my heart to stop beating. Right before I closed my eyes for the last time, all my memories with YouTube, with my best friends, with Connor, hit me like flashbacks. I remembered Connor and I's kiss. I remembered our fight that day. I cried harder remembering the best and worst times of my life. I wanted my life to end but I wanted to continue as well. There was so much to lose, but I had no faith in life. I was, at that moment, immobile, paralyzed, freezing. I couldn't feel my body, my legs, my arms. I just fell back asleep.
Finally, after a couple of hours, someone woke me up.
"Beth, sweet heart, Bethany, wake up," said a very familiar voice. The voice sounded like it's owner was really old. I opened my eyes, and saw my late grandpa standing there, next to me, smiling at me. I was in a forest filled with beautiful trees and colorful flowers. I didn't remember what had happened. I thought I had died and went to heaven or something. I was happy to see my grandpa again, but I was also a little scared; I had no idea if I was dead or not yet.
"Grandpa?" I said as he helped me get up. "Grandpa! Oh my God, I've missed you so much!" I said hugging him.
"Oh, Beth, what are you doing to yourself?" He asked me. I paused a little; I didn't know what to answer.
"Grandpa? Am I dead?" I asked him looking in his gentle eyes.
"You're probably wondering why I'm here," he told me. I nodded. "Come with me," he said and held my hand. He walked me to the streets, and led me to the police station first. I saw, in an office, a poster reading my name and has my picture on it;

BETHANY NOEL MOTA
LOST
Age: 18
Eye color: Brown
Hair color: Brown
Height: 1.63m
Last time seen: Friday, October 18th, 2014 at 5:43P.M
If found, please call 911.

I was so scared; my heart started racing. The poster was all over town, on the newspaper, the television, even in markets and pharmacies.
"Look at what you've done... To yourself!" He told me. "Come." He next took me to a park in the middle of my neighborhood; I saw the group and my family. They were all calling our neighbors, asking if they'd seen me. Most of them were crying. I searched in the crowd, but Connor wasn't there.
"Take me to see Connor," I told my grandpa.
"Are you sure you want to see him?" He asked.
"Yes... Yeah - um... I'm uh... Yeah," I said tearing up. He took me to Connor's room, where I found him crying and looking at the poster.
"What did I do? What did I do?" He cried. I walked towards him and sat on his bed. I touched his hair and ran my fingers through them. He wadded the paper and threw it, then he just burst into tears. "This is all my fault! I hate myself! If only she knew how much I actually cared about her. I love you, Bethany. I love you," he cried into my picture on the side of his bed. I started crying with him; I died for him. I am dead now... For him, I thought to myself.
"What? What do you mean?" Asked me my grandpa.
"What? I didn't say anything," I told him.
"You didn't die, you didn't die, you didn't die," echoed his voice behind the sound of the rain drops. I opened my eyes, and found myself laying where I was when I first fell asleep.
I pushed myself up to my seated position in fast motion, then I took a deep breath, looked around and found cop cars and ambulances parked at the far end of the forest.
"Help! Help me!" I yelled. Even though my voice wasn't as loud as I wanted it to be, they still found me. My arms couldn't hold me up anymore, so I fell back to the ground.
"It's her! Hurry up!" Shouted one of the cops. "She's here, hurry!" The nurses and cops hurried towards me and lifted me up then placed me on a bed. They ran with the rolling bed to the ambulance, and we took off to the hospital. They put an oxygen mask on my mouth and nose so I would properly breathe, and started encouraging to stay awake.
"We're almost there, hold on," said one of the nurses. When we got to the hospital, they rushed the rolling bed out of the vehicle into an emergency room. I fell asleep again while they took me to the operating room, but I still heard and felt the doctors and nurses investigating my body for scratch marks or injuries, then I completely passed out after they gave me a drug.

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