Evanna Austen a freshman in college, starts out her journey with her friends. After successfully passed out her freshman year she was ready to began her second year more than ever, with the friends she loved. Everything was going fine until her unco...
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I collapse on the couch and stare at the kitchen where I had fought with Amy, where she fought with me. Since we came here we never fought and before that even. It was never like this where one had to leave because of how much the other can't stand another. I mean isn't it why she left? Because she doesn't wanted to see my face anymore. She said it already how I have her best friend face but I am not her. Her shouting, her harsh but true words echo in my head and I bite my inside cheeks, trying to hold the tears that threatened to leave my eyes.
The worst part of our fighting and her shouting was that I couldn't even defend myself back there because I had put myself and her into this. When she was raising her voice on how I have been drifting away, how I didn't care about her and how I left her in this place all alone in night. I couldn't utter a word because everything was true. I have been keeping someone else first rather than the person who was with me for my whole life. Better and for worse. And I just let that person go away from me.
Only because I am a coward to tell her about the important thing which is been happening in my life for quiet some time now. I couldn't even prioritize between Liam and her. She is right I didn't think about her and just chose Liam over her. I have been doing it for so long that this become so normal to me that I didn't even think about how it could have been affecting her. I always think about making Liam happy but Amy...I forgot her in all the chaos that happened not from these past days but the day since I open my mouth for first time to lie to her.
And when the guilt of all of it, in my chest weigh me down that's when I can't hold them back. First, one small beads of water started falling down. I can feel the warmth, sliding down my cold cheeks, and rolling off my chin. Then another. And another. Until my eyes flood with them, coming like a rainfall.
“I am so sorry. I am so sorry.” Is all I repeat in my sniffing which happen every ten seconds, they fall and fall, and I let them. Because that the only thing I do. Cry. The leaking water is only a blessed release, it's one way my body chooses to cope and I guess it's a way to communicate too. The communication I should have done with her from start and this state, this part could have been avoided. If I was faithful—truthful from start. But I guess when lying seems to go pretty good for as long as we need it to be, that's when truth decides to come out, the reality barged in like a hostage trapped in dark tower behind the bricks that were been made by lies and lies. It finally breaks through, from these walls because the cracks are what we forget to fill.
The noisy sobs echo through the empty house. For how long, I have no clue. I tug my knees to my chest and wrap my hands around my body, cocooning myself from the disaster I made.
“For fuck sake how many times do I have to tell you to close your damn door...Fuck what is this? How come there's a glass pieces in your vicinity of clean—Rose, what happened?” Liam frantic voice fill my ears and within second he is near the couch, kneeling.
“Are you crying? Look up. Fuck, Rose what happened why are you crying?” he circles his arm around my body to sit me up but I refuse and push him.
“Go.” I barely whisper, hiding my face on my bend knees. But he was persistent, he pushes my knees down and cradle my cheeks in his calloused hands.
