VJHEYANGV L I T E R A T U R E S 💜✨

My AUTOBIOGRAPHY 💜

Pursuit of Loneliness
Jheavv1918

“No one can predict to what heights you can soar even you will not know until you spread your wings”
Since I was just a little girl I was guided by this quote this quote serve as my principle in life and this serve as my motto. I am Jhealyn Esquivel Padilla 18 years of age and a bonfide resident of Barangay Baresbes, Quezon, Nueva Vizcaya. I am the first child in the family of five.  My father’s name was John R. Padilla and my mother’s name is Evelyn Padilla. I had two siblings one boy and one girl namely Shayrien Grace Padilla and John Charbell Padilla.
Back when I was a child my life was not bitter and mild. I was born on August 11, 2000 at Veterans Regional Hospital Magsaysay, Bayombong, Nueva Vizcaya. I grow up with the care of my parents including the care of my relatives. While I’m growing I started to become curious I started to asked questions that bother my mind. I still remember the day that I was beaten up my mother because I don’t like to sleep after lunch she will get a stick and beat me. I started crying and I tried to escape and go to my aunt house. My aunt Estilita was my best company before whenever my mother gets angry I always run to her and she made me feel asleep. My aunt also bought me a food and dresses and I feel so blessed because that I have her. The years passed by and I started to go to school at that time my mother decided to go to another country to work as maid for us to have education. My sister was 8 months that time and our mother gave the care to her parents and me was cared by the mother of my father. It was really hard for us to have no mother but then I also feel relieved because no one will scold me again. My father was kind and caring but my mother’s attitude is opposite from him.
The grief was in my heart especially when my best company died due to an illness that cannot be cured anymore. I was in grade 2 then my aunt died and I felt like I lose one of my beloved one. I treat her like my own mother and she treated me like her own daughter. She is more important for me than the one who gave birth to me.
I am one of the honor students academically. However, some of my abilities were limited to the classroom alone. I study hard to make them proud of me but the hard thing was I never heard from them the words “We are proud of you”. Every time I go up to the stage I felt the pain that resides inside my heart. I study harder but the way I study was not enough for them they didn’t even realized the efforts that I’ve do to make them proud of me. My father always accompanies me in the stage to receive the awards that I’ve garnered.
8 years passed by I live my life without my mother by my side. I was practice that she is not around with us. But then here comes the time that she came back with us. I had no expressions when I’ve heard that it was just like its nothing for me. I don’t even know if I miss her or not or even I don’t know if I will have hugged her or not. Like what I’ve said she came back I was sleeping when she arrived on our house I’ve seen her face smiling hugging us. I tried to stop the tears that coming down in my yes. I’ve realized that I missed her too. I was grade 7 then that time and also it was my first time that I didn’t received any award from the school. I’m a little bit shy but I promised myself that I will be on top next school year. That’s what I made I study hard and I got a honor and I was so happy. Nevertheless, I’ve realized those times that I do need to get honor for my parents will not be mad at me especially my mother. For them honor is the basis of a successful future so even though I’ve got honors from grade 8 to 10 I was not still happy because I just pursue for the like of my parents. Even I got honors they are not contented they wanted me to be on top but I cannot because my abilities are not enough to make it on top. I was so disappointed from her. Sometimes whenever I am alone I think that my mother didn’t love me because she even doesn’t care about me. She was always mad on us even we are working in our house. Sometimes I wish I was never born with this family. One thing more that disappoint me is that she always mad on us and the way my mother talk to us was harsh. Sometimes I can’t imagine that these things happened in my life. But no matter what I always whisper to “Jehovah give me courage to face these problems in my life”.
With this kind of problem that I am facing right now I know that Jehovah God will never let me down. I know that He will help me to succeed. No people can predict for what heights I can soar but Jehovah knows and Jehovah sees for what I am will be someday.