Memories

Chapter 16.

Anakin's POV

__________

I blinked against the early morning sunlight that peeked through the grey clouds, then stiffly uncurled myself from my tight ball. Sitting up slowly, I yawned and stretched carefully before brushing off the tiny pebbles and bits of street rubbish that had attached themselves to my side. I sat blinking heavily for a few moments, wondering why I was on the wet streets of Coruscant, rather than the warm comfort of my bed. Then last night's events came trickling back.

"I can't always be there for you, okay?" Padmé fumed. "Sometimes I need to live my own life, too!"

"Didn't you tie your life up with mine when you married me?" I countered. "First, it was this meeting you had in the morning, and now you've got stuff that needs doing! Can't you even spare five minutes with me?"

"I told you, this is very important! If I don't get it done now, I might not get it completed in time! You're just going to have to wait!" She stared at me adamantly, her fingers hovering over the button to close her door. 

"Oh, don't you shut me out, too!" It was all I could do to keep from yelling.

"Too?" she shot back. "Who else has shut you out? Or have you just been shutting everyone else out, and that's why no one's helping you?"

Her words stung viciously, and I recoiled.

"Sometimes I think you just need to work out your own problems. You can't expect others to do it for you!" She paused, her jaw set in determination, then pressed the button with more force than necessary. "Goodnight, General Skywalker!"

I had been left speechless, and it felt like my heart had just been shredded. I couldn't face going back to the Jedi Temple and sleeping in my room: Ahsoka would be there. I didn't have another argument left in me. So I had picked the streets of Coruscant as my sleeping quarters for the night – not that I had really slept. I was utterly shattered.

My head was pounding, and my throat was painfully dry and parched. That would have been due to all the tears I had shed last night. Taking one glance at myself, I decided I looked like a hobo. That wasn't really the impression the Hero With No Fear was supposed to give. I didn't like being this vulnerable, but sometimes I just wanted a hug. Was that too much to ask? But maybe Padmé was right. I kept yelling at my friends, so maybe I was shutting them out. Maybe it was my own fault.

I rubbed my face and sighed, looking at the sky. I couldn't tell exactly what the time was, but I worried that it was getting late. The Jedi would be asking questions.

With these thoughts in my mind, I slunk back to the Jed Temple, testing to see if I could sense Ahsoka in our room. Upon finding nothing, I sneaked in through the window, sliding in between the shutters and the glass. Ahsoka's bed was made, neat and tidy as always, and I noted with a pang of guilt that she had made mine as well. I could see the care she had taken in getting it comfortable.

Quickly changing into my Jedi robes, I grabbed a towel from the cupboard and ruffled it through my dark blond hair in attempt to dry it. Tossing it onto my bed, I yanked on my gloves and hastened out the door, grimacing when I felt my comm buzzing. I took a deep breath, then tapped it. "This is General Skywalker responding."

"Where have you been, Skywalker?" I could hear the frustration in Mace Windu's voice over the comm. "We've been trying to contact you for the last twenty minutes! Come to the Council room immediately."

I gulped. "Affirmative." Clicking my comm off, I raked my hands through my hair. In less than a minute, I entered the Council chamber, feeling my stomach twisting uneasily. Ahsoka was already standing in the centre of the room, but I didn't look at her. Staring straight ahead, I couldn't bring myself to look at anyone in particular, though I knew Obi-Wan was watching me from his seat to my left. My words to him from last night hit hard, and I figured the frown on his face was one of disappointment. 

"Skywalker," Mace began sternly, his dark eyes boring holes into me, "this is two days in a row that you have not been available when we need you. We expect better from you. But right now, we don't have time to discuss such things. Asajj Ventress has been located on Tatooine again, and we need you to go and find her. Kenobi and Tano will be with you."

I could feel my heart rate increasing, my throat tightening. Not again. "P-please, don't send me," I started quietly, my voice shaking. "I-I don't want to go."

Mace's frown deepened. "We will not have you speaking back to the Council like this. You know Tatooine the best, so you will have a distinct advantage. That is why you must go."

But I was shaking my head, my breaths coming faster. "Please don't send me. Please. I-I'm not having a very good day, and I don't think going will make it any better."

"That's no reason," Mace responded, irritation colouring his tone. "We all have bad days, but we have to keep going, whether we feel like it or not."

"But I'm serious," I pleaded. "I'm not trying to be difficult, I just .... Please don't send me!"

"No, Skywalker," Mace said firmly. "You are leaving, and you are leaving now. That is final."

I almost considered putting my foot down and stolidly refusing to go, but then I looked down, defeated. "Yes, Master."

Obi-Wan watched me for a moment longer before standing up. "Ahsoka, please help Anakin get the ship ready. I'll be along shortly."

The Togruta teen nodded timidly, then slipped out of the Council after me. We walked to the hanger in silence, both wanting to say something but neither finding the words to say it.

I swung myself into the pilot's seat, doing the pre-flight check and readying the ship for our journey. Everything having been prepped, I kept fluffing around, trying to find things to hold my attention. We were going back to Tatooine. We were going back to my home planet. We were going back to Mother's home planet. And I didn't want to go.

<><><><><><><><><><>

Oh dear, here we go again. Is anyone else watching the train crash in slow motion? Poor Ani, though. I do feel sorry for him. It's so sad, too! He's actually reaching out, but the Council aren't listening! Duty first .... :(

Who thinks Obi-Wan is actually disappointed in Anakin? Is it just Anakin's interpretation? 

I was originally going to start this chapter differently, but I'm much happier with how it's turned out. I was going to begin with the Council scene and have a quick overview of what happened last night, but I thought I might as well show the action a bit more. I like it better now. :)

Hope you're enjoying reading! ;D