The Damaged

Chapter Eleven

Amar stands in front of the doorways before anyone can leave the dormitory and head for the pit, today and tomorrow are both free days and everyone is ecstatic for the time off.

"It's best to seem unattached to your families, it shows you truly are part of your chosen faction and have left your other behind. It may seem hard, but I assure you all it's for the better" Amar nods toward us then leaves the room.

A few people leave right away, some stragglers stay behind. I sit at the end of my made bed, wearing new clothes because my old ones couldn't fit around my muscles anymore. Across from me sits Tobias with a jacket gripped in his hand.

"Are you going to go down there?" I ask softly, glancing at him.

"For what? Marcus would never set foot in this compound, nor would want to see me. I wouldn't see him either" Four snaps quietly.

"Do you think Ethan..." I trial off, shaking my head. I feel his eyes settling on me.

"I can come with you to check" his voice goes softer. "If you'd like me to."

I meet his gaze. "You'd sit around in a big room full of people just for me?"

"Well, there will be cake" Four smirks, I nudge his knee before standing.

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We stand on the stairs of the Pit, overlooking the reuniting families. Only a few specks of color are scattered across the floor; looking bewildered by the view of the large compound.

"See any grey?" I ask Four, he stands a step higher than me.

"Not yet" he speaks over the loud noise of talking and water from the Chasm.

I take a few steps down, trying to get a better look. From here I now see Tara talking to a tall man in black and white Candor, a boy and a girl at his sides; must be Tara's siblings. I spot Amar talking to worried people in red and yellow, gesturing for them to follow him. Mia's parents came, too. It's nice to find Eric standing off in the corner of the room alone, that makes me feel slightly better.

But still- no grey.

I sigh and sit down, my hands on the back of my neck. I knew it was a bad idea to get my hopes up, to think Ester would actually let Ethan out of her sight on a day like this.

Without a word, Four sits beside me. I glance to see his arms resting on his knees. He studies the crowd more carefully, the familiar crease appearing.

"Want to go punch something?" Four finally asks after a few long minutes.

I don't even think about it, I just stand and face him. This is a better way to push down all the emotions I've felt after watching the happy faces on all the happy people.

"Let's go" I walk up the stairs, Four already catching my stride.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Together we both punch and kick our own punching bags, as hard as we can. I attack mine over and over, grunts releasing between my sweaty lips.

"It was stupid of me" I think out loud, feeling one of my knuckles split against the bag.

"What was?" Four pants, wiping sweat away from his forehead.

"Getting my hopes up" I glance at him, but keep my pace.

He makes an overly audible sigh, his wrapped up hand stops his punching bag then my own.

"Amalia. It wasn't stupid of you, you just wanted to see your brother after seeing how relieved everyone else was" Four stands in front of me. I look at him with glassy eyes.