I See You, You See Me

How Bad It Is

It was black, everything was black, was this the end? Was this....relief....freedom....?

Come.

Echoing, bouncing off each black wall. A command that must be obeyed. But how? Where?

Come.

It was like a claw, climbing up the throat, digging deep and ripping flesh. A command. But how to obey? Come where?

Where?

Come.

Where?

And then an overriding pressure, a thickness pressing down, down, down to the ground, flattening, cracking.

Bad. So bad. Shame.

Why was he questioning? Why was he speaking?

But he had to know, how could he get answers if he didn't know?

It wasn't his to ask, it was only his to obey.

But how to obey when the instructions aren't clear?

Come.

I can't.

COME.

Fear, pure terror, there would be consequences if he didn't obey.

Maybe if he pressed himself closer to the floor, maybe if he flattened himself, became translucent, small, maybe he'd be unseeable. He would give up everything, just please don't see him. Let him disappear, let this all fade away into nothingness.

Being human didn't matter. Doing what he loved didn't matter.

Only freedom, freedom from this oppressive terror that crawled up his insides as he struggled with how to obey his instructions.

Please, mercy, please.

Come.

Incessant, like a jackhammer to the skull. He clutched his head.

Please, please, please just leave me alone, just let me stop existing. Please.....just stop it......

He cold feel the cold lack of mercy all around, the delight coursing through the darkness.

This was fun.

His stomach could sink lower, he realized, as it dawned on him that there was no escape. He would not be left alone. He would not stop existing.

Because that just wouldn't be fun.

He was trapped. And he was alone.

-

"Hyung!" Namjoon woke with a gasp, jerking up, only to slam foreheads with Taehyung and promptly fall back on the bed, his head ringing and aching. He was drenched with sweat and gasping for air, it seemed enough couldn't enter his heaving lungs.

"Joonie, it's okay, you're safe now." Jin took over, resting his hands on Namjoon's shoulders and soothingly rubbing them. "We got you, it's okay. Whatever it is, it can't get you."

He was wrong, so wrong. He was out of the house, but Namjoon knew the darkness was everywhere. And he was terrified. The room was filled with the smell of his fear.

Jin pulled him up into a hug, engulfing him, and that's when he saw her.

She looked pale. She was unconsciously clinging to Jimin's arm, and he looked a little green himself.

He saw them, but it felt like his thoughts just spun around and around. He knew them.

And when he saw her, he felt fear. How could someone so small incite such terror in him?

He buried his face in Jin's shoulder, wanting to cry but not feeling the tears come. He didn't even know where to begin or what to think or what was real. So he clung to his hyung and just hoped there was an end, somewhere, a resting peace.

-

Jimin, Yoongi, and Y/N had been discussing the specific details of Namjoon's security detail, when a blood-curdling scream of terror had sounded through the place, making them all jump.

Namjoon appeared to be having a panic attack and a nightmare all in one, and for the second time in recent history, they all felt fear for him. He had been tortured, broken mentally, and he may be physically safe, but mentally he did not appear to know that.

They had tried to distract him when they thought he was going back. Tried to keep things light, had asked just enough questions over text to assure themselves he was at least being fed. But they didn't push him to talk about what he was going through.

So it's probably understandable that they did not fully realize the depths of what had been done to him, until right this moment.  Even Y/N couldn't have foreseen the extent of the damage.

He was clinging to Jin like a baby, eyes wide as he looked around the room, like he expected a monster to jump out at any moment to gut him for its feast. The shock made it so Jimin didn't realize Y/N had stepped out of the room at first.

She had one hand leaning against the hallway wall, the other hand on her chest, looking like she'd just seen a ghost.

"That fucking bitch." She whispered when he came to stand by her side. "How dare she. How can she break someone like that and live with herself?" Jimin just ran his fingers through his hair, trying to merge the image he had of his hyung in memory with the terrified man in the bedroom behind them.

"I'm scared." He said just as quietly, and once he said it out loud he realized how true it was. He had been afraid for his hyung since he'd learned he'd been taken to the Chairwoman's house. He felt tears come to his eyes and tried to blink, and then wipe, them away. But it didn't do any good and soon they were streaming down his face in two glistening lines. "I'm so scared for him, Y/N."

And two things changed that day. That day Y/N went from "my boss who I respect and isn't so bad now that we're all on the same page, oh and is also marrying my brother" to "my friend, and we will get my hyung back, all together".

Jimin found his arms wrapped around his boss and his face buried in her shoulder, as he cried out all his fear and frustration. Weeks of emotional build up, finally coming out. For all of them.