Immortal °*~frerard fic~*°

Chapter 3: My confidence will always leave me, and that's why

It was Monday. It was Monday, and I didn't want to get out of bed knowing that I had made a promise to go back to the coffee shop. But I had gone anyway, and was now in class doing a lecture on Easter Island, a topic I didn't care for or want to explain any further. But, for the sake of the students, I had to explain because these textbooks the teachers were supposed to use were atrocious and I had to speak the truth.

"In 1,200 A.D. Polynesians arrived on Easter Island in the midst of the biggest storm of that year, which is saying something considering how shitty the weather was back then." I paced around the room, my feet falling to the floor heavily "After arriving, they tried to return to their land through the storm, but they hadn't anticipated such weather and had only brought canoes so of course they couldn't fight through. They inhabited the island for quite a while, and even creating the well known statues out of a large wall of volcanic rock." I stopped in my tracks as I remembered the cold, rainy nights, hauling stone from one side of the island to the other, and I sighed not knowing if I would be able to handle this next part.

"But soon their resources started to diminish quite rapidly. In the end, they resorted to cannibalism. By the time a Dutch explorer had found the island, they had wiped out the population completely. No one was left alive."

Liar. Liar, liar, liar, you're a monster. You killed them all, killed your friends, they didn't deserve it. You didn't deserve to survive you should have died like the rest of them. But you can't, can you? You can never do anyone else a favor, you only ever look out for yourself, you never get what you deserve. Just this once, do us all a favor and just go kill yourself, just disappear.

I ignored the voice in my head and forced a tense smile to the class as the bell rang "Class dismissed. Don't forget to hand in any missing assignments." As the students filed out into the busy hallway, I collapsed down in my chair at my desk and began to massage my temples. I really fucking hate this unit.

Why couldn't I just be like any normal person? Why did I have to be like this? I tried to think back to happier times, happy memories. But I couldn't find any, because a lot of the time throughout history I just wasn't having a good time. So I thought back to Frank and the coffee shop and the event of this morning as I shakily picked up my cup of coffee.
   
    
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"Gerard, hey. Do you want what you had yesterday?" I nodded and Frank turned to prepare my coffee. There was a man in the corner of the coffee shop, seated at a table all by himself. I almost felt sorry for him. Tracing meaningless patterns into the counter I watched as he worked, wondering if he would still not want to talk to me. After a while, he asked "What's on your mind? You seem tense."

I perked up at that "Nothing really. Just gonna have to grade papers later today, so that sucks. Assign homework, schedule tests. What about you? How are you doing?" I had hoped that I might get some answers as to why he had seemed a bit off yesterday.

"I'm doing okay. Of course, I got hit on again this morning, but there's not much I can do about that. Still trying to move all of my stuff into my apartment. But overall, I'm doing okay." He finally handed me my coffee, and I took a sip relishing in the taste of fall.

"That sucks. Maybe after work I can help you with moving the boxes? Not much I can do about guys hitting on you, though." I glanced at his outfit. It didn't seem too revealing to me, but I could see why guys would hit on him with a beautiful face like his. His eyes were rather captivating.

And currently, those eyes were staring wide eyed right back at me "I think I can handle it myself." He said shakily, and I wondered what I had done to make him say that. I had thought that we were at the very least friends, but maybe it was too soon. Was I mistaking his feelings for the ones I had towards him?

I gave him a sympathetic look, trying to comfort him "Did I do something wrong? It's just that you said before that you were having trouble with moving and I-"

"Just leave me alone!" He yelled suddenly, and it was my turn to stare back at him with 'the look'. The look people give you when they find you absolutely terrifying, but would rather not say anything about it. I was rather familiar with 'the look'. And in that moment, I realised how annoying I probably was being showing up every day to see him. So I did as he said and turned to leave "Gerard..."

But I was already out the door, gone before he could let out another word.

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I tried to clear my mind of bad thoughts, I really did, but this morning was all that was coming back. On top of that, the topic of this unit was far from my favorite, and it was all just so overwhelming that I felt like crying. So I did. I cried into my arms which were cradling my own face on my desk. I couldn't fight back the tears, couldn't help but sob right into my arms while trying to calm myself.

Just think happy thoughts. Think happy thoughts, think happy thoughts, think happy thoughts, think happy thoughts, think happy thoughts, think-

There was a knock on my door, although it was still open and whatever student was there really didn't need to knock. But at least it gave me a chance to compose myself before answering "I'm busy." I mumbled into my arms. The student walked towards my desk and soon I felt their hands comfortingly stroke my hair.

I looked up at them to see it wasn't a student at all. His beautiful, beautiful eyes stared back at me seeming to glow from the angle the light was hitting them. It was Frank and he was still stroking my hair when my tears abruptly stopped, and I had never been so glad to see someone before.