Sander sides oneshots

IntruAnxCeit (NO-)

[Ship: Platonic IntruAnxCeit
Warnings: mentions of s*x toys
Type: crack 😅
Word count:482 words]
[Extra:Heavily inspired by the picture above, which I was sent in an amino chat 😅]

TITLE:NO-

(Virgil pov)

Since janus had been accepted he has begun to hang out more with remus, back at his old home. He didn't want remus feeling alone or like he had been completely abandoned. Currently the two were in remus' bedroom playing just dance when janus flung himself in and flopped onto the bed. I jumped as remus laughed and won the round, while I glared at the snake

Remus turned and looked at janus. " so what's up with you slimy?" The snake looked up with a sturn look and said. "NEVER. Bake. Cookies. With. Patton." he looked a mess in all honesty. He had batter from his hat to his shoes and was rubbing it all onto remus' silk green sheets.

"what why?" I asked as remus snickered obviously not caring about the mess. "That man threw so much flour and water at me I could make a batch of cookies with the things on me and my heating rock." he said again tiredly and confused. Just by looking at him it's obvious patton had smothered him in the cookie mixture, it was funny actually." hey put those yellow gloves to use and clean up. "I said pointing at the flour that lay stranded on remus' bed. I walked towards the bedside table where remus had left my glass of water.

Remus suddenly pipped up again." Random thought, OK listen to me! " he said opening his legs slightly and crouching a little like he was making a really big announcement. I looked at janus worriedly as he snickered. "you had a thought? Did it hurt?" I stifled a laugh while taking a drink of my water as remus shouted an offended" hey! " in response.

" OK anyway! You know how in toy story, All of the toys come to life right? " I already knew where this was going and so did deceit it seemed as he quickly shot him down. Taking another long drink I listened. " I swear if you say that Andy played with toys corpses i will k-" The snake was cut off as he finished his sentence" what if the sex tiys were alive in toy story? " I stopped mid gulp and held the water in my mouth unsure of what to do.

"Remus no-" janus warned as the trash man smirked and put a finger gun to his chin. "you've got a friend In me." he said suggestively. I spit my water out all over the floor and coughed slightly as janus raised a hand to his face. "ThIs Is WhY mOm DoEsNt FuCkInG lOvE yOu!" I yelled out pointing at deciet who caved in and burst out laughing along with remus and I followed soon after.