A New Chapter (BNHAxReader)

Chapter 25: Get through this together

I woke up in the middle of the night from such horrible urges to hurt myself. I sat up carefully so that I wouldn't wake Chi. Though through that effort, I woke Melody, who was sleeping at the foot end of the bed. I gently patted the top of her head before I put on my glasses and got out of bed, tip-toeing into the bathroom and making sure to close the door before I turned on the light. I then dug around for the trusty razor blade that I had hidden underneath the toilet tank.

You still keep it taped under there?

'Well yeah, I don't want Chi to find it.'

He will eventually.

'Well then, I can wait.'

As if it would matter since he doesn't love you.

'He does; you're just lying.'

Whatever, I'll let you find out for yourself then.

'So be it.'

I carefully peeled the razor off of the ceramic tank and removed the tape off of it as I walked to the tub. I sat down on the floor and rested my left arm on the side of the tub. I looked at the razor carefully, inspecting it for any dullness. Since I had replaced it not that long ago, it was still pretty sharp looking, considering how much I was using it at the time. I laid the razor on the edge of the tub so I could remove my hoodie and sit there in my tank top and sweatpants before picking it back up and inspecting it again. Before I did anything, Melody somehow made her way into the bathroom and was rubbing her face on my side. I pet her a couple times before I whispered to her, "Go back to bed, alright?" then watched her leave my sight without turning my head and following her with just my eyes.

I then sat up on my knees and put my left arm over the tub, readying myself to let the red rivers flow. I brought the razor towards my arm and pressed it into my arm, making me feel the pinch of the razor. I then swiftly pushed it, making a long vertical cut before doing quick and deep horizontal ones. Just as I was going to do another vertical one, a warm hand came shooting out of nowhere and wrapped itself around my right wrist. Before I knew it, another hand appeared and stole the razor away from me in the blink of an eye. I quickly spun around, forgetting about the blood that was almost gushing from my arm.

What I saw was Chi standing behind me, using the razor blade that he had stolen from me to cut horizontal lines in his left arm. I shot up out of panic, taking a step back for a second before swiftly moving forward to try and take the razor from him. He avoided me, only looking me in the eyes once with anger before looking back to his arm. Once I caught on to his movements, I was able to forcefully swat the razor out of his hand, sending it flying to the ground and landing with a metallic clang. We just stared at each other as he held his bleeding arm close to him while I had mine down to my side, feeling the cool blood drip from my fingertips to the floor.

"The hell are you thinking?" I asked in a low tone.

"Me?" he asked as if I was crazy, "You! What the hell are you thinking?!" he yelled in a whisper. I tensed up my shoulders as I looked down. He took a deep breath to calm down before pulling me in for a side hug. "Whatever you do, I will do too."

I shook my head, "No, I don't want you to hurt."

"Then what makes you think that I'm okay with you hurting too?" he asked. I balled my hand up in a fist, pulling on the back of his shirt a little. "Did you want to kill yourself or did you just want to feel pain?"

"Pain." I muttered.

He sighed, "For some reason I'm a bit relieved that's the reason. It's just that I saw the long one and-" I cut him off by just looking up at him and letting our eyes meet. "Who knew that eyes can tell a person's emotions like that." he thought out loud.