no questions asked | ethma

4

Emma

Another few weeks went by, and I stayed busy working and hanging out with a few new friends and co-workers.

I noticed that Ethan was at the bar almost every night I was there, and he was usually there pretty late.

Our eyes met every once in a while, and I didn't think anything of it. Maybe he was trying to figure me out. Maybe he just needed a friend. Or maybe he simply didn't like me because he didn't know me. From what I've heard that's just how he is.

Mark still hadn't called, and I was getting really worried. It's been over a month. He would've called by now. Maybe not. It's the fucking military, and I'm worried about the fact that he hasn't called me. Maybe he used his phone time up when he talked to his mom or something. At the same time, his mom would've called me to give me an update anyway.

Finally, Mark called, and I was over the moon. I didn't even care that it was four in the morning.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Emma. I miss you."

"Thank God you called. I've been worried sick. I miss you so much, babe."

"I know, sweetheart. We got sent to South Asia. Everything's okay for now, but this is the first access I've had to a phone since the last time we talked."

"You're okay?"

"I'm perfectly fine."

"You're safe?"

"I'm safe." He said gently.

"God. I miss you so much."

"I miss you too. I'm not sure I'll be able to come home this year."

"Where'd they send you?"

"I thought we were getting sent to the UAE, but we're in Afghanistan."

"Mark--" I didn't even know what to say. This was a bullet to my heart. "Please be careful." That barely even came out in a whisper. I was already crying.

"Baby, don't cry. I'm gonna come home. I promise. We'll be together again. In person. I'm always gonna be there with you one way or another."

"Mark--"

"Emma, if something happens to me, I want you to do whatever you need to do to be happy. If I don't make it, I want you to know that it'd be okay for you to move on and find somebody else that will love you, okay? I want you to find someone that'll make you happy."

"Mark, nothing's gonna happen to you. I don't want to hear it. You're gonna come home and be safe in my bed while we cuddle and fall asleep. We're gonna tell our future children the stories about how we talked on the phone while you were in the Air Force. We're gonna live the best life together. I don't want to think about that not happening."

"Emma, I love you."

"I love you too. I really just wish you could come home."

"I would love that more than anything right now. I miss smelling your shampoo whenever you give me hugs. You always give the best hugs."

"Cause we're the perfect height for each other."

"Like puzzle pieces. I'm the perfect amount taller than you."

"Yeah. Damn, I wish you were home with me right now."

"Are you in bed?"

"Yes, are you alone?"

"Yeah, baby. Our phone calls are private."

"Good."

"Why, are you naked or something, baby?"

"Maybe. Maybe not."

"If I was there, I'd be ripping your clothes off right about now."

"Oh yeah?"

"Mmhmm. Then I'd be doing some dirty things to you."

He then preceded to tell me what he wanted to do to me inch by inch. And he told me piece by piece how he'd take my clothes off. I was cursing the universe that he wasn't in my bed with me.

Although he did give me some pretty dirty instructions to do to myself, and we both ended the phone call feeling pretty good.

I still remember the last part of our talk. I told him to stay safe, and he told me his famous catchphrase.

I love you forever.

I told him the same, and then right before we hung up, he told me once again that I was sexy. That was something I'll never forget.

It wasn't even two days later when I got the call.

Somehow the rest of the world was perfect. The sky was blue. The weather was perfect. But something was wrong.

I felt it in my soul.

One of his platoon members called me. He informed me that his squad encountered a bomb, and Mark sacrificed himself to save everyone else. He was a hero, and he saved his whole squad. Mark died in the end. I was heartbroken.

Mark knew what he was doing.

He wasn't suicidal, but he's a forced himself in an instant to save his comrades.

I didn't feel like it was real. It couldn't have been. He was going to come home. I read his last letter over and over again.

I didn't get out of bed for three days.

He was supposed to be the person I spent the rest of my life with. He was gone so suddenly.

Why does everyone I love have to die on me?

First my sister, now Mark.

My sister Natalie died when I was twelve. She was fifteen. She had an undetected heart condition, and the doctors say it could've easily shown up the day she died.

I was heartbroken. She was the person I looked up to most in the world. She was gone so soon.

Now Mark was gone soon.

We were going to get married, and have children, and live in a nice house together with our family. We were supposed to live life together, now it was all thrown away.

The first 24 hours I couldn't cry. I don't know why, but the tears just weren't coming. Maybe it's because I just felt numb.

After that I cried so hard that I couldn't breathe.

I was in contact with my family, and Mark's family. The Air Force was flying his body back to the United States, and his funeral would be in NYC. He was now a national hero. My hero.

I decided I would love life the way he wanted me to. Live for him. If there were two people I was gonna live for, it'd be Natalie and Mark.

What broke my heart the most was that Mark was too young to die. He didn't get to get married, or have children, or walk his kids down the aisle.

He wouldn't get to meet me at the end of the aisle either.

Everything I had planned for us was gone. He never even got the chance to say goodbye. I'd do anything to see him one last time. One more hug. His hugs were the best.

Nothing could ever be the same.