~peterick oneshots~

shitty person ~two~

~because I still feel bad~

I don't deserve you.
you deserve much better than I and we both know it.
all of your friends know- one in particular.
I'm awful and you deserve more...
I messed up, I know
and you should be mad, I'd be concerned if you weren't.
if this didn't make you rethink everything about me, maybe it should have.
maybe it should have showed you how awful I am.
I agree with him and I know that I am a shitty person
yet you denied it.
you know it's true, you just won't admit it to me
you should leave me
find someone better-
someone who likes your friends, someone who isn't so sensitive that stupid things don't bother them
I don't deserve you
and you deserve better
but I'm too scared to say it
because what if you do rethink things?
and end our relationship,
our friendship?
that scares the absolute hell out of me.
but I would understand.
I would.
you shouldn't be with someone who hurts those you love-

"hey, 'trick?" kevin asks, walking into the living room where patrick had slept on the couch. "you okay, bub?"

"yeah," patrick nods, wiping his eyes quickly as he put his phone down. "yeah, I'm alright." he says, forcing a smile.

"what were ya writing?" kevin asks, sitting next to the small man.

"oh! uh, nothing..."

"'trick-"

"okay, I just wanted to get out my feelings, I guess?" patrick sniffs, rubbing his nose. "it's nothing, don't worry."

"let me see,"

"no!" patrick shakes his head quickly, keeping his phone close. "don't worry, it's nothing, I swear."

kevin sighs, nodding. he did not want to push it, so he held onto his brother, whispering a soft, "it's okay," keeping him close. "it'll be okay."

"what if it isn't though?" patrick whispered back. "you saw what I said, you saw how mad they were... what if pete leaves because of it? I would understand, but I don't want to lose him..."

"'trick, stop. don't talk like that. pete's not going to leave you over something so stupid. he's going to be mad, sure, but I doubt he would leave you."

"he should." patrick whispered, hiding his face in his brother's shoulder.

kevin sighs softly. he wanted to argue, and he should, but he knew it was pointless. instead, he whispered another, "it's going to be okay."

patrick says nothing else, keeping his thoughts to himself, sniffing occasionally and keeping his eyes closed.

patrick could not imagine a life without pete, but knew it was a possibility that it could happen.