reminiscence

Forty

"You want to know the truth?" Maura asked as I followed her into the kitchen.

"Hmm" I hummed picking up the plates and pileing them into the sink.

"I don't like that girl"

I couldn't help but giggle as I started to fill the sink with water.

"You and me both" I mumbled through a smile

"What's that? Sweet Bella hates someone?" She wrapped an arm around my shoulder making me burst into the laugh I was hold in "oh no ....then it's got to be bad"

"No she's not bad....I don't hate her" I stated to scrub the dishes as Maura put the leftover pie away in the fridge. "I just don't think she's good for Niall. She's too..."

That is when I looked up out the window in front of me. The one that gave a perfect view of the driveway and Niall and Candy making out.

Candy was leaned up against the car door. Niall in front of her with his hands on her waist and lips attached to hers. Candy opened her eyes looking directly toward my reflection. Making eye contact with me through the small kitchen window. I knew she was doing this on purpose.

I immediately pulled my eyes away turning to Maura. Who was giving me a weird look.

"Sorry I'm ... Sorry" I placed the dishes back in the sink before running up to Niall's bedroom. I needed to get out of there.

Slamming the door shut. I slid down the door curling up in a ball.

I was just giving Candy the benefit of the doubt. But then I knew she did that shit on purpose. Even if she was just jealous as Desi said why did she have to take it this far? Everything she did tonight felt like a stab in the heart.

It wasn't that I couldn't share Niall. I would love for him to have a girlfriend. I just really hoped it wouldn't have been here. She can't treat anyone kindly, is the fakest person I know, and is extremely high maintenance. The total opposite of Niall.

If Niall only told me he was going to ask her out. He tells me everything. I wonder what changed his mind on this. Maybe we went as close as I thought.

A knock at the door made me jump.
"Bella, you in there"

It was Niall. For once in my life I didn't want to see him right now.

"Yeah" I sniffed

"Can I come in.  I need to talk to you"

I sighed getting of the floor. I stood in front of the door with my arms crossed. Hesitating to open it. But I knew I had to face him and get it over with. I whipped the door open to see him stand there with his hand in is hair. Something he did when he was nervous.

"Did you're mom send you up here to check on me" I sighed turning around and sitting on the end of the bed.

"No... why would she do that?" He said sitting next me.

I guess he didn't know what I just saw and I wasn't about to bring it up. We could just leave that part out.

"Because of the tea incident" I semi lied

"You mean because of Candy being my girlfriend"

The word brought a knot to my stomach. As my mouth drew open. Not sure what to say as he caught me off guard.

"I mean... I just wish you told me before you were going to ask her" I mumbled

"I wanted to!" He raised his voice making me jump slightly "That's why I wanted you here tonight. I was gutted when you said you already had plans. I wanted to tell the two most important women in my life. You and Mum"

Guilt hit me. As I didn't have plans. I intentionally made plans to avoid dinner. "That's why I was so happy when you came home early. And you caught me at dessert, I want to tell you then" he added making me realizing why he was staring. He wanted to tell me, why they were holding hands. I hit my forehead with my hands. Regretting every bad thing I just thought.

"I-" I stuttered feeling like a complete idiot "I'm sorry" I stood up walking over to the window. Opening it to get some fresh air. The cold night air hit me. Calming me down a bit. I turned back to Niall who was still sitting on the bed. "I truly am. I didn't mean to act like a bitch. You don't have to tell me shit. I'm happy for you"

I felt tears come to my eyes. Not happy tears as they should be. But sad tears. As I was lying to Niall. The one person I have never lied too.

"I want to tell you everything Bella" he laughed smiling up at me  "You're my best friend and I wish you would stop saying sorry for things not in your control"

I smiled still looking out the window. I shook my head before turning to him.
"You really know how to cheer a girl up huh?" I laughed throwing myself on the bed so I was laying on my back starring at the ceiling.

"Only have been doing it for 25 years" he chuckled laying down next to me "I hate when you get in you're head like that, always have. " 

I let my eyes fall shut. Suddenly feeling extremely tired.

We laid there in silence. I still felt like an absolute bitch for lying to Niall. I fell into Candy's trap and I shouldn't have. He wanted to tell me. The same time he did his mum. I was important in his life. Why was I doubting that. Some girl can't take that away from us.

"I didn't ask her to be my girlfriend" Niall whispered breaking the few minutes of silence

"What?" I shot my eyes open turning my head to the side to look at him still staring at the ceiling. "But you just said..."

"She asked me to be her boyfriend " he laid his head to the side now looking directly at me

"And you said yes"
He nodded

"Oh" I titled my head back towards the ceiling

"It seems really fast for me. I'm scared you know? I always fall to fast before I even really know the person"

I bite my lip squinting my eyes shut. He really didn't know Candy. I knew he was that way. Even in our teenage days. He would fall head over heels.
He sat up rustling his hair once again

"I'm sorry I don't know why I'm telling you any of this. You don't need my relationship crap on top of your problems"

I laughed sitting up and placing a hand on his back instinctively rubbing.

"Don't worry about me Niall. I got enough shit to handle. What's more" I shrugged making him laugh and pull me into a hug.

"Well I better let you get to bed. You almost fell asleep on me there"
"Yeah yeah" I yawned  watching him stretch before he got up signaling he was tired too.

"Goodnight Bells" he opened the door only to quickly turn around "oh by the way... like the  shirt. It looks nice on ya. You should raid Desi's closet more often" he sent me a smile before pulling the door shut.

"Night Nialler" I called so he could hear me through the shut door. Pulling a pillow to my face and letting out a well needed scream.