Just Roommates. . .?

Chapter seventeeeeen c:

"Fucking asshole," I hear a deep, raspy voice mutter. "What was the point of it all then. . ?" I crack my eyes open from the wonderful sleep I was previously in. Kacchan looks. . . really angry. He sits on the side of his bed, slouched over in an uncomfortable looking way, his hands covering his face. "Fuck. . ." Kacchan abruptly lays down on his back and puts his arms over his eyes. "Kacchan. . ? What's wrong?" I sit up, worried. "Nothing," his voice cracks, "go back to sleep." There's no anger behind his words this time, only a faint sadness. Although I know I should leave him alone, my body moves without thinking. I get up and sit beside him. I don't say anything to him, instead, I put his head on my lap and play with his hair. "Deku. . ." I stay quiet for a moment, "Yes?" "I just don't get it." "Hm?" "He said he dated me because he felt bad for me, because I was an outcast. He wanted to make me feel better, to make me fit in. But he didn't really like me, so he was with someone else while we were together. So I don't get why he ever even did it in the fist place."

 He sits up, "Do you. . . feel bad for me too?" My brows knit together tightly, "Of course not, Kacchan." Before I knew what was happening, he puts his lips to mine, kissing me violently. He parts to take a quick breath, but before he gets the chance, I kiss him back. My heart begins thumping like crazy and my face is now as hot as the sun. He cups my face with his hands and I do the same to him. "Kacchan. . ." He looks up at me, still very close. "I don't think now is the best time." Although I hate to say it, it's the truth. He's just been heartbroken and so I could be a rebound of some sorts. He clears his throat, "Yeah, sorry." He gets up from his bed, "I'm going to go take a walk." I open my mouth to say something, but nothing comes out. Without another word, he leaves.

He really kissed me. . .

                                                                                             ~~~ 

The rest day passes, very slowly. Filled with anxious thoughts and nothing more to do. Around dinner time, I head down to the cafeteria, hoping there's something good to eat. And luckily, I was right. Katsudon, one of my favorite foods. Not as good as my moms cooking, but it's definitely up there. My mom is a great cook, not only that, she's really just good at everything a mom could do. When I was a child I knew I was different, she did too. She wanted me to change. It hurt. A lot. But when I became older, she started to accept me for who I was. 

I sit down at a table, away from other people and begin to eat, pushing back the painful memories of my younger years with food. 

                                                                                            ~~~ 

I walk back to the dorm building just as the sun started to set, the dark oranges and purples fall over the landscape and set a tranquil feeling in the air. The crisp wind moves around me, causing my hair to fall into a new position. I take my time coming home, nothing invites me to come back faster anyway. It's as if the world around me is wanting me to stay more than the people around me. Loneliness. The feeling isn't new to me, in fact, it's somewhat comforting in a strange way. Even though I don't want to leave, I do so anyway. 

I open the door begrudgingly, and go inside. To my surprise, Kacchan hasn't come back yet. His blankets are still a mess from earlier, so I decide to make his bed. I go ahead and lay down on my bed, planning to go to sleep. But instead I end up overthinking. About, well, everything. 

Why'd he kiss me? Why then?  He may have just been in need of emotional support or something? Kacchan's the kind of person to act on his emotions, right? That's probably why. Kirishima is an asshole, doing that to him. I cringe at the word. Kacchan isn't in the right headspace at the moment because of him. It makes me. . . mad. An unfamiliar feeling. I don't usually experience anger. When I do, it's usually for a good reason. 

I check the time on my phone, eleven already? I hear a knock on my door suddenly. Kacchan? I go over to the door and hesitantly open it. It is Kacchan. I stare at him wide eyed for a moment. "Where were you?" He looks away, "On a walk. . ." He moves past me, "For that long?" He stays quiet for a moment. "Yes." I blink a few time before shutting the door and locking it. As I turn around I notice he's already in bed under his covers. I clear my throat, "Um, goodnight then. ."

I know it's short, sorry. However, more shall come.