Grow with me

-twenty three-

Jade

"Here you go cutie pie," I said and handed Perrie her bottle- Jesy was out again today, Leigh had a meeting and then she'd be home. I had to go to the bar tonight, Holly was sick and Marcus has worked 3 nights in a row. I was thinking of maybe bringing Perrie with me and sitting her in the back rooms, I had a sound proof one which she could stay in but I wasn't really sure yet. Right now, I was sorting out some work on the computer for the bar, the finances, the other boring stuff. I had just filled Perrie's bottle up and she was sat at the coffee table in the living area, talking to herself. She didn't react when I put her bottle down but I wasn't expecting her too, she's in her own little world. She hasn't let go of the fairy since she got it down at 3am this morning. She's kept it wrapped in the blanket too.

I was sat at the kitchen counter with my laptop, I couldn't hear everything Perrie was saying but I was catching a few words when I concentrated- such as 'home', 'meanie' and 'safe now', it made my heart swell hugely! Whoever or whatever she was talking to was the person she could confide in. Even though they were only in her imagination, I was happy for her to have herself a friend. Thinking about it, I can't imagine she's ever had a friend really. If her parents kept her at the house all day, she wouldn't have had much interaction. It explains her hyperactive imagination and lack of communication skills. I wonder how she would benefit from a friend though, someone her 'age' she could play with and let lose with. Now there were two serious problems there. She was very very possessive over her things, her toys are HER toys, she won't understand the concept of sharing. If she plays with imaginary friends then she still technically has all the toys to herself, no one taking things when she doesn't want them too. Also, there weren't people like her around. We would really struggle finding her someone suitable to play with. If we got someone her 'age' she could play with, someone who is physically and mentally 3 years old then it would confuse them and upset Perrie more. We know Perrie has the tendency to get violent too and if she did that with a real 3 year-old, I don't think it'd be very good. But then how do we find people willing to play and co-operate in her games and fully let themselves go the way Perrie does. It's definitely something I wanted to look into to.

Just then there was a knock at the door, Perrie screeched loudly. Her head shot up and she looked towards the door. I quickly walked to it, hopefully avoiding another knock but there was one. I louder one this time. Perrie screeched again and I could see her begin to rock back and forth on her legs. I quickly opened the door.

"Parcel for Jade Thirlwall," the postman said, he had a big box at his feet. I nodded, quickly signed what I had to and dragged the box inside. I shut the door and instantly went to Perrie. She was rocking faster, her hands grabbed her hair and she was mumbling, screaming and crying. What on earth? I hadn't seen this before. I didn't know what to do.

"Perrie baby?" I said and went to sit in front of her. She sobbed into her knees, shaking her head, screaming. It was a panic attack but how did I stop it.

"Perrie hey," I said a bit louder, I took hold of her hands gently, being cautious that she might not like it. She cried more once I brought her knees down but she wasn't too scared.

"You're okay," I said reassuringly and lifted her chin up so her eyes met mine. I wiped her tears one by one as they fell and held her heavy head in my hands, letting her cry. Her rocking slowed down.

"You're safe," I whispered to her whilst her eyes were locked with mine.

"So so safe Perrie," I smiled and kissed her head. She moved herself onto my knee and curled into me. I held her and rocked us. She took hold of my shirt and her thumb slid slowly into her mouth. 10 minutes later, after more rocking, she fell asleep.

This panic attack really confused me, she had heard the man knocking on the door before, it never scared her caused that reaction before! Maybe it was because she was in her 'world'. She got seriously interrupted from it rudely and she didn't like it.

I picked Perrie up and laid her on the sofa, she still wasn't really well. Her temperature had lowered a bit but she was coughing, spluttering, sneezing and snotty. She had a headache too so I had put some medicine in her bottle. I got my laptop and sat down on the sofa opposite.

--

Leigh

"Weigh weigh," Perrie whined cutely as I walked through to the living area. I smiled and stood her up then pulled her into my arms- being back at work more means that I miss this baby. My baby.

"I need to pee," Jade chuckled and rubbed my back as she walked past me. I held Perrie at arms length.

"Hows my sweet baby girl?" I smiled at her. She giggled and leaned in again to cuddle me.

"Miss yoo," she mumbled into my neck, her legs lifted and wrapped around my hips. I laughed and rested my hands under her bum.

"You're not super little munchkin," I smiled and sat down on the sofa. She sat up straight and poked my belly. I laughed and grabbed her fingers.

"What you doing missy?" I smirked. She giggled and tried to poke me again. I poked her back. She laughed loudly and moved her belly in, she was getting some meat back on her, which was really good. We kept going at the poking game until Jade came down too. She stood in front of me and behind Perrie. Pez looked back and giggled, she threw herself back into Jade.

"Oooof," Jade laughed and wrapped her arms around Perrie. I had hold of her waist, making sure there was no falling. Perrie carried on playing around with us, laughing, smiling and having fun with us and it made me so happy seeing it! The fact that she was closing her eyes too as she'd fall back on the sofa and onto Jade, she was safe- she was happy.