idk why but writing this makes me super soft 🥺
i sat on the toilet, and cried. i cried really hard.
the test came out positive, and i was more than happy. me and jotaro have been trying for awhile now, and it finally worked, but i never actually thought about having the kid.
what if i'm a horrible mother? what if i don't change the diaper properly? what if it's a miscarriage? what will if do if the baby is sick? i know nothing!
i gripped the test harder in my hand, and put my head down in my knees. but some knocking made me jump. "(nickname)?" i heard jotaro's muffled voice from outside the bathroom. shit, i thought he was still at work...
"yes?" i wiped tears out of my eyes, trying to pull myself together for him.
"i heard you crying, are you alright?" he sounded like he was right up against the door. i didn't say anything, because i felt like if i opened my mouth and talked i would sob again. "i'm going to come in okay?" he said gently and opened the door slowly. we made eye contact, and as soon as he seen my face his expression dropped to a worried one. "hey hey hey," he said quietly and walked over to me, and crouched down so we were on the same eye level. "what's wrong?" he grabbed one of my hands and started to stroke it with his thumb. i just shook my head and showed him the test that came out positive, which really made him smile a bit. "(y/n) this is amazing..." he said softly as he held the test in his hands with joy. "why are you upset? don't we want a baby?" he looked back up at my eyes while still holding my hand
"y-yes" i choked out. my throat felt like it was closing and i couldn't even speak. "i'm so excited" i squeezed onto his hand as he set the test down on the counter. "but," i looked away from him and tried holding back tears, but they just flowed from my eyes.
"but what baby?" he asked gently while inching in closer to me, still holding my hand in a fragile manner.
"i don't think i'll be a good mother" i ended up just sobbing some more. my tears were flooding like crazy and i could even see his reaction. "i don't know how to parent, or how to change a diaper, or to breastfeed, or but a baby to sleep" i pulled my hands away from him and covered up my face and go catch my tears.
to my surprise, jotaro started to chuckle. "good grief" his deep voice rang through my ears as he continued to laugh a little. "come here," he cooed at me, sliding his arm underneath my bottom and his one arm gently under my shoulder. he picked me up like i was a feather, and in an exhausted way i laid my head on his shoulder.
he carried me to our bed, and he sat down on the edge. he softly adjusted me in his lap, so my legs were gently around his torso and my head still on his shoulder. my arms also weakly wrapped underneath his. tears still left my eyes just not as intense. "(y/n)," he said while stroking my hair in a peaceful rhythm. "don't stress about this. we've never been parents before" he chuckled as his breath hit my ear, making me tense up for a second. "but we will figure it out along the way, especially me and you. we are a team" he tightened his arms around my middle. "and you have morning to worry about," he said, now rubbing my back. "you're the most nurturing person i know, and very mother-like. you're always caring for other people and have a heart of gold" he said with a light laugh. he pulled away from me and held my face with his big hands. even though my eyes were tear stained and my face was blotchy, he still looked at me like i was the prettiest girl he's ever seen. "you're so pretty (nickname)"
i laughed a little, which felt good. i rested my forehead against his, and took some deep breaths to calm myself down. "are you better now?" he gently pressed a kiss on my cheek while we were so close.
"yes" my voice was weak, but i really did feel better. his scent filled my nose even more now, which made me relax even more.
"good," he smiled, and let go of my face, and backed away from me. but i shyly leaned towards him again and kissed his soft lips. he smiled again, and looked away from me. "good freaking grief i'm so excited"
