Written In The Stars (Published Under Immac PPH)

CHAPTER 06

Written In The Stars

Valerie's POV

"So he's back?"

As I saw his face again, I felt the memories flash back. They were all vivid, they felt so new and... painful. Remembering us being happy together, makes me wonder why it happened and what didn't work, what went wrong between us. It was difficult to deal with, I was never hurt before and when I was left with a broken heart and a confused mind, it made me feel like the pain was incurable. I can't help myself but feel angry as well, if he ever needed to leave, is it really hard to just simply tell me he'll go?

A year of devastation led me to be strong. For once I was able to claim that I was better, that I felt better and that I was strong enough to let the past go but everything was thrown away when I saw him again. The memory of his face devoured me, seeing him made it seem like it was impossible to move on, not from him but the pain he caused when he left me with no explanation. Maybe I was still partly affected, in fact, maybe I was angry. Still angry.

But the anger was overlapped by the questions. I wanted to ask him so bad, I wanted to tell him what I felt when he disappeared. I wanted to make him realize how badly I wished to see him again but I couldn't because I had no idea where he was in the first place. There were things and questions that kept me awake at night, there were moments where I'd remember him and I'd sit and cry for minutes, I'd take a look at some of his photos and would casually feel a slight ache in my heart. It led me to believe that maybe the problem was me.

A certain time where I had promised myself that I would never love and give myself to someone again, because it would end up in the same fate, it would still hurt me in the end. And I'm the only one who's suffering. He's probably happy. But destiny plays tricky games, it's ridiculously full of surprises. I could not stay true to my promises, specially now that I'm starting to feel like I'm opening my heart for someone again.

I'm still scared of admitting the truth. It isn't shameful but it's rather direful. It's just as confusing but this time, I couldn't control it, the possibilities were everywhere. It feels like my feelings were already there from the start and I didn't acknowledge them. Maybe it was the thing in his smile that brought me here, or the sense that he's always there for me since the beginning. All my heart ever agonized was to have someone who'd make me feel home, a person who would trust me and at the same time, a person who would give me all the reasons to trust him. That person could be Tyler.

"Yes, he is." I told Sabrina. I went home immediately after coming across M earlier. I could still remember how he looked. When I got home, Sab noticed the unusual aura surrounding me, she went in my room and I started to open up to her. She was the only person I could go to. "I saw how badly he wanted to tell me something, but I couldn't bring myself to listen to him. I don't know why I felt that, too."

"Then, you aren't ready." She said. I started to think about it. She's probably right. There was something crippling in my veins but I couldn't tell. I was too overwhelmed. "That doesn't mean you won't be ready your entire life, Valerie. The right time will come and you will have to know the truth. I know Mikhel, he's not going to keep the truth from you, maybe he wanted to tell you, you just weren't ready for it yet."

"When will I ever be?" I asked her. She pursed her lips, giving me the thought that she didn't know either. Even I didn't know. "I want to know the truth Sab, believe me. I wanted to know even before when I was hurting the most. But when it was already in front of me, I couldn't bear the thought of hearing it. I'm scared by the fact that maybe I couldn't take the truth, maybe it's unacceptable. Maybe it's not what I thought it would be... maybe it's worst than that."