The Best Part of Me -Jack Avery Fanfic.

Chapter 21

Gabby's stuck to her word. It's been three weeks since we've seen Lavender and when Jack calls, Gabriella either doesn't answer, claims she's too busy, or hangs up on him when he tries to talk to her about it.

It hurts. I had gotten attatched to Lavender. It's hard not to. Now she's yet another piece of my heart that I've lost because of what I did.

I know this is hurting Jack too. Of course it is; he can't see his daughter. He misses Lavender and he's growing defeated with every phone call. He's tried calling her family too, but no one answers.

And it's my fault. It's because of me. Because he's with me.

The guilt is eating away at me. Everytime it rears it's ugly head, I get physical chest pains. They feel like knives being dug into my chest and it makes it hard to breathe.

Right now I'm having a particularly bad spell. I lay in bed, clutching my chest. Jack had gone out to work on some music with the boys, leaving me alone. And when I'm alone, I think too much.

I haven't told Jack that. I don't want him to feel like he has to stay with me 24/7. I don't want him to feel traped. I don't want him to worry about me either.

Cortez lays next to me, whining as he senses my anguish.

When I don't come upstairs by supper, Kristin comes down and knocks on the door. She creaks it open and she asks me if I'm alright.

I groan in response and she steps inside.

"What's wrong sweetheart?" She asks, seeing the way I'm curled up.

"It won't stop hurting." My voice comes out strained.

I want to cry in frustration, but I hate how weak and vulnerable I feel when I do cry.

She comes and sits down on the bed. "What hurts, Addy?"

"My chest." I grimace. "My chest hurts and it's hard to breathe."

She pauses for a moment. "Has this happened before?"

"Mmhmm, but not this bad."

"Have you ever seen a doctor for it?"

I shake my head no and she places a hand on my arm and rubs it softly. "I wanna get it checked, okay?"

"I don't wanna go to the doctors." I groan. "Please?"

The doctors for me is a terrifying place now. I haven't been there since I had a physical exam after I was brought into custody. It's a place that starts and ends terribly. When I went, it was usually because of something bad that Kyle did. When I came back, he was sure to put me through hell for going.

"Addison, I just want to make sure." Kristin's voice is calm and soothing as is her gentle, warm hand on my arm. I give in and she helps me up. We get into her red S.U.V and on the way she has me call Jack and put him on the car's blu-tooth.

She explains it as I sit in the passenger seat with Cortez on my lap. I'm exaughsted and already just want to sleep.

Once at the emergency, they ask me a whole boat-load of questions and in the  end they do an ECG test on my chest just to be safe, but conclude that my chest pain is just from over-stressing.

It's a relief. I was begining to worry because of Kristin's reaction. But it's not surprizing to me. The doctor just tells me that that I need to stress less. He says that if by tonight if it hasn't gone to come back and he can give me something to try and help to relax me and in turn the muscles.

Jack's waiting for us in the waiting room and he's quick to pull me into him and make sure I'm okay. It makes me happy inside that he cares about me so much and he shows it.

I go home with him and Cortez is more then happy to be let out of Kristin's car to see me.

"Addy.... why are you that stressed? What's got you soo stressed?" Jack asks after we get home and settled back in his room.

I take a deep breath and then shrug a little. "I just... I think it's the Lavender thing..."

"Baby, you know that's not your fault right?" He pulls me up against his chest as we lay on the bed.

"It feels like it is... I mean, that's the whole reason Gabby doesn't want her here." My eyes start to water, but I hold it back and end up sniffling instead.

"Gabby has a hard time to listen sometimes... she's stubborn that way and she hates when she's wrong about something." He runs his fingers through my dark hair as he talks. "And she's wrong about you, Addy. Don't think that she's right by saying or doing what she's doing. She just doesn't know the whole story."

"I don't blame her though." I mumble, staring at the photos on the wall. "She's doing what she thinks is right to keep her kid safe. I don't know if I'd have the same reaction as she did in her shoes, but it's a valid one."

"I wish she'd just hear me out... I don't want to leave her a voicemail explainimg it. I want to be able to sit down and talk to her... but I can't do that if she won't just give me a chance."

I nod, burrying my face in his chest. "I am sorry that you can't see Lavender right now, Jack."

"It's not your fault, Addy. It really isn't."  He cooes. "I love you and I love Lavy and there's no way in hell that I'm gonna loose either of you."