Maybe change isn't bad - Payton Moormeier

eleven

Its Tuesday which means another counselling appointment. Its not actually that bad, I'm starting to be more open with everything and I'm getting used to feelings. I hate feelings , they always bring bad things.

"So what's on your mind" Samantha asks sitting down and opening her note pad.

"My mum" I say "Her and my sister were acting off all weekend. Last time she was like this my dad had contacted her wanting to talk to me and it set of my anxiety"

"Do you think its your dad trying again" she asks as she writes

"I don't know, I hope not. I hate him with everything I have" I say "I don't want him back in my life. Ever." She stops writing and looks up at me

"Why, what happened" she asks and I look down "Its ok you don't have to talk about it"

"No its ok" I say before taking in a deep breath "When I was about five my dad lost his job so we had to move to where I live now. He started spiralling, he became an alcoholic and a druggy. When I was six he started to hit my mum, he only did it a few times before he stopped because I tried to defend her so instead he started hitting me. He never ever touched my sister, this went on until my mum kicked him out when I was ten" I say

"Is that why you started acting up" she asks and I nod my head "Then you found alcohol and drugs to..." she trails off

"To numb life, forget what happened. Escape the things I didn't want to remember. But I became him" I say the last part quietly

"Its ok Kaden, your trying now that's what matters" she says "Its all you can do is try. You will never be as bad as him"

I tell her some more about my dad. The session goes by slowly, when its over I go to my dorm and sit in my room. I put on my peep playlist and lay on my bed and stare at my ceiling. I hear a knock on my door before Payton walks in, I look at him the back at the ceiling.

"You ok" he asks sitting at my desk

"Yeah, I guess. I don't know" I say

"What's up, talk to me" he says

"Well I told Samantha everything about my dad. Also at the weekend my mum and sister were acting off. Last time they were it was because of my dad and I don't know what to think" I explain "What if he tries to come back, what if it happens again" I say starting to panic

"Hey hey hey" he says coming and siting next to me. He pulls me in for a hug "that's not going to happen, he's gone for good. You will be ok" he says comforting me

"Can you stay and watch tv with me" I ask pulling out of the hug

"Of course" he smiles, he always manages to make me feel better.

He stays until we all go for dinner at the hall. After I go back to my dorm and have a shower. I get changed and get in bed. I decide to facetime Esther.

"Hey hoe" I say when she answers

"Sup bitch, how was counselling" she asks putting her phone on her desk

"It was alright, I finally talked about my dad" I say

"How did that go" she asks

"Alright I guess, I started to panic when I got back though" I say forgetting I didn't tell Esther about my mum

"What why" she asks sounding concerned

"Just old memories you know" I say "What are you doing" I ask changing subjects

"Putting eye drops in, about to convince my mum to not send me to rehab" she says putting the eye drops down

"Its not going to work, it never does" I say

"I know, anyway got to go text you later" she says

We say our goodbyes before she hangs up. I put my tv on and watch that until I fall asleep.

(Time skip - Friday)
I just got out of last lesson and I go straight to my dorm. I play music and wait for Payton to arrive. He gets here and we do our English homework, then I do my history.

"You going to go see your mum this weekend" he asks as I pack everything away

"No" I say and he gives me a confused look "last week it was hard to say no, I'm scared that if I go back I'm going to cave"

"If you don't think your strong enough to go back and face your friends then stay, it's no big deal" he says

"Yeah I guess. I'm staying here tho" I say sitting next to him on my bed

"Ok we can watch movies here then" he says putting his arm around me

"No your going to have fun and drink" I say "I made it to one month you don't need to stay sober with me"

"No Kaden I want to" he says looking down at me

"I'm not talking no as an answer. Have fun I'll be fine" I say "don't worry I'll tell you all the embarrassing things you do" I laugh

"Thanks" he laughs

The boys come back with alcohol. Me and Payton go and sit in the sofa with the others, we decide on what food to order. We and go to the boys room.

"Why are we going to the boys room, we usually drink in our room" I ask

"Last week we made to much noise and almost got caught" Jordan says

"dumbasses" I laugh as Liam opens the door

We go in and they get set everything up. I put music on like always, I get a non-alcoholic drink and sit next to Maddie.

"I thought you didn't drink anymore" Liam says looking at my red solo cup

"I don't, it lemonade you dimwit" I say

Within a few hours they are all run and its an hour until curfew. The girls aren't to bad and can probably make their own way back. I'm kinda of tiered so I decide to head back early. Payton refuses to let me go by my self so he walks me, even though he can barely walk in a straight line.

"You good their" I laugh as he nearly walks into something

"Yeah I'm good" he half slurs laughing as well

"Here" I say taking his hand so he's more steady. He kinda rests his head on my shoulder as we walk .

"Your really cute" he says out of no where

"Ok" I say trying not to laugh as we get to my door "You can't get back by yourself, wanna crash on the sofa"

"Yeah" he says as I open the door

He goes in and sits in the sofa. I get him a drink and a blanket before sitting next to him.

"I meant it when I said your cute" he says wrapping him self up in the blanket

"Sure" I say

" I did" he says he takes a pause "Kaden" he says looking at me

"Yeah" I question looking back at him

"I like you, like a lot" he says and I look away "I'm sorry I shouldn't have said that"

"It's ok, get some rest or you'll have a headache tomorrow" I say getting up and he lays down

"Oh and by the way, I think your cute too" I say knowing he won't remember it. I go back to my room and get ready for bed.

A/n: Hi bitch welcome back to my channel
So yesterday I started writing another story that I'm probably going to delete.

Anywhore vote plz and thank
Ok peace out ✌🏻