The Unknown // Colby Brock

~~ Chapter Eighteen ~~

          I brushed my outfit down for the millionth time as I walked out of my room. My master plan consisted of a very simple premise: make the devil regret losing me in any way that I can, including showing him what he's missing. And that meant walking around the house in something he would drool over. It meant giving him suggestive looks mixed with glares and never paying attention to him.

That was why when I entered the living room with everyone else and almost ran into him leaving, I purposely bumped his shoulder and stared him right in the eyes. He stopped for a moment to look me up and down before making a face I could only call frustrated and leaving. Perfect.

It was going to be one of the easiest things I had ever done in my life to make him regret his decision.

"Don't you look nice," Xepher said with a smile as I sat down on one of the couches and crossed one leg over the over. "Dressing up for someone?"

"Not particularly." I grinned, glancing at the stairs where the devil could still be seen ascending to go to his room - probably to work. I used to sit up there with him for hours and hours just reading what he'd write about the people who'd been thrown into hell. Now it seemed like a nightmare.

"Okay, I have to ask," Aryia said through a groan. "What did you guys do? Like how far did it go?"

"I don't follow..."

"He's asking if you guys kissed or slept together or... You know. That sorta stuff," Cassie explained for me.

My mouth opened and closed again. I may have been in the mood to fuck with the devil as much as I could, but I wasn't sure if I was ready to tell them just how serious things got between us. I was on the edge of falling and then God came and saved me before it was too late. Thank God... literally.

But then again, he deserved all the shame that came his way. "We got close... real close. And yes, we slept together. Multiple times, actually." I bit the inside of my cheek, eyes on my lap. Thinking about all of it again made me a little upset. I didn't want to face the fact that after all that; after the sympathy I had shown and the care, he had given me away just like that. Without realising it, there was a tear building in my eye. "Um, excuse me," I said as I cleared my throat and stood up.

I rushed from the room before anybody could say anything, running up the stairs until I reached my bedroom where I flopped down onto my bed. Damn, that hurt.

It didn't take long for the door to open. I didn't respond to whoever it was, staring straight up at the ceiling as if it had the answers to life. It didn't, but I wasn't sure of what else I could do.

When the bed dipped beside me and someone shuffled so they were facing me, I was forced to glance in their direction. I found the one and only Xepher lying with me. Thankfully, my tears had disappeared, but my emotions were still there and heavy. One little thing could break me.

"So," she said, "let's talk about something else? Unless you want to talk about the asshole?"

I quickly shook my head so she smiled and reached out to take my hand.

"Alright, then. How shitty was heaven?"

"Very."

"Not good enough. I want details," she demanded, holding a finger up in the air.

I smiled as I sat up, leaning against my headboard but she didn't move; she just looked up at me curiously. "Okay... well, there truly is white everywhere on everything. Bedsheets, clothing, everything. I hated the whole thing."

Xepher bit her lip nervously, glancing away toward the door for a moment. She gulped as she turned back to me and dragged me to lie on the bed with her.

"You know he regrets it, right? Colby hated that he'd given you up like that. Every time we mentioned it he'd get angry at himself and storm off."

I stayed silent.

"I'm just... It doesn't take much to figure out you two got kinda close so I don't want you to lose that."

"He's the devil, Xeph, literally. He was bound to ruin it somehow," I mumbled sadly back. I should have seen it the day we really kissed for the first time; the day I thought maybe he wasn't as much of an ass as he came across as at first. I wished it wasn't true. Somewhere hidden inside him was a good person but he had destroyed it so quickly that I just couldn't see him as anyone other than the guy who gave me up to his biggest enemy not knowing what could have happened.

He fucked up, just like devils were bound to.

"It isn't ruined if you don't let it be ruined."

"Xepher..."

"You don't even want to give him a second chance?"

"No." And it was the truth...probably. As far as I was willing to accept, the devil was in the past never to be brought back out again. I had to move on. Maybe Katrina's idea that I would find someone up in heaven wasn't so far off, although I would never go fishing around there for a guy. They would all be soft and cheesy and incredibly hard to get along with. Dammit, why did I have to be hung up on the devil?!

"You've been thinking for a while..." Xepher mumbled, pulling me closer to her. I didn't hesitate to put my head on her chest and curl up into her body. I needed the comfort. She cuddled right back into me with a gentle sigh. It felt like we were lying there for forever just existing together, just like I used to in the mornings with a certain someone down the hall.

Why did being in hell make me miss everything so much more? How unfair was it that I was suddenly struggling to do anything without feeling emotional in some way and wanting to run into his arms at the very least?

The answer was very unfair, but I couldn't escape it. I couldn't just erase everything that had built up inside of me. I had to live with it, and I had to get used to the fact that the devil was never going to be a good person. That was why I couldn't allow him back in.

Ever.