Building Attachment

Chapter 20

POV: Ahsoka Tano

I opened my eyes in the early morning before the sun had risen. I couldn't sleep any longer. I sat up on the edge of my bed and put my head in my hands.

I couldn't believe I felt this way about my master. These feelings were very against the code. I had been taught my whole life that it was wrong to feel this way about anyone, but I felt like it was out of my control.

I knew I would just have to hide them and push them down until they went away. There were no other options.

I looked at my clock. It was only 6:00, but I couldn't sleep any longer. I dressed in something comfortable and walked outside into the cool early morning.

I sat down on a path of long green grass right next to the lake and looked into the water.

After about half an hour of silently pondering and playing with the long grasses by the lake, I sensed that I was no longer alone.

I slowly turned my head and was not surprised to see my master standing tall in the distance.

He looked slightly concerned as he looked down at me. His soft brown hair blew softly in the wind and his blue eyes pierced directly through my soul.

After finally admitting my feelings for him, I was able to see how attractive he was. From his deep blue eyes, full of emotion and passion, to his strong and tall frame... Ugh, this wasn't going to make it any easier for me to get over him.

He slowly walked down to me with his hands in his pockets.

"Hey," he said.

I didn't look up at him. "Hey."

"You're up early."

"I... I couldn't sleep."

He sat down next to me and brushed his arm up against mine. I instantly felt warmth spread through my entire body at his touch.

I couldn't tell if he did it on purpose or not, but either way, it wasn't making things any easier for me. I kept my arm where it was nonetheless.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked softly. I looked away from him.

"Not really," I whispered.

"Alright."

After a few minutes of silence, he asked the question I knew I couldn't avoid forever.

"Ahsoka," he whispered. "What happened last night?"

I closed my eyes to avoid his gaze. "I... I felt sick all of the sudden and I went to bed."

I knew he could see straight through that lie. "Your barrier is up Ahsoka, I know there's more to it than that," he said sadly.

I closed my eyes painfully. "I don't want to talk about," I whispered.

He was silent for a moment. "Alright. We don't have to talk about it right now."

I went back to staring at the water and tried to clear my mind so that I could drop my barrier, but with the very object of my struggle sitting right beside me, I had no such luck.

Anakin slowly brought his hand up to my shoulder and smiled at me. "How are you feeling?" he asked me.

"Sore," I replied.

He brought his other hand up to my shoulder. "May I?" he asked.

I bit my lip and then slightly nodded. He began to rub my tense and sore muscles. I sighed softly to myself at the feeling of his touch.