THIRTEEN

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                           ~Jason~



It's been long since I felt pain. I don't feel pain rather I inflict pain on other things. The last time I felt pain was when my mother died, that was five years ago and ever since then, I've tried my best to stay away from things that'll make me feel anything. I've come to understand that when you stay close to people you are prone to get hurt. Either the person you are close to makes you feel pain or something happens to the person and it makes you feel pain. Ever since then I stopped letting people in, I haven't felt pain up till this moment.

The first time I learnt about mates in school, I was so ecstatic from only the thought of it. I thought of how I'd protect my mate from bad stuffs, how I'd get my mate the most expensive things just to make her happy. The thought of it alone was amazing. Imagine a fourteen year old already designing a mansion that would befit his mate. Yeah, that was how excited It made me. When I first learned about mates I vowed then that I'll always protect my mate and she'll never have to shed a tear, except happy ones. So imagine how I felt when I found my mate unconscious and almost bleeding to death.

When BFG told me that she was abused by her former pack I was livid. I wanted to go and tear them apart but the thought of leaving my mate did not sit well with me. It made me uneasy. I expected her to be wary of me but what I didn't expect was for her to be scared shitless of me. BFG sugarcoated what she went through, so I didn't think that she was going to react the way she did.

When I came out of the bathroom to see her sitting on the bed. I was really happy that she was already awake. I was brought to a stop by her beauty. It was so captivating. Even though I've been with her for three weeks I'm still not used to her beauty.

I was still looking at her when she suddenly winced and clutched her head. I was angry at myself for getting carried away and forgetting that she was hurt. I quickly rushed to her to her and held her head in my hands. Her head must be aching badly. I held her head in my hands and asked her if she was alright in a soft tone so that she won't be startled. I wasn't expecting the reaction she gave me. She removed my hands from her head quickly as if they were burning her and she dashed to a corner in the room muttering 'sorry' over and over again.

I was confused and didn't know what I did wrong. When I tried to move closer to her she flinched as if I was going to hit her. I raised my hand to touch head see if she was burning up but she flinched again like she was expecting me to hit her.

I felt so helpless. I don't know what to do. Then I heard her mumbling 'BFG'  repeatedly. What is a BFG and why does she need one?

The pain I felt at that moment was so excruciating. It felt as if I was being stabbed in the heart over and over again. My heart was breaking into a million pieces and I don't know what to do. The last time I felt like this was five years ago and ever since then I've always blocked out people. I don't know to handle this feeling so my anger got the best of me. I didn't know when I started hitting the wall over and over again while saying 'fuck' repeatedly. I expected it to remove the pain I was feeling even if it was a little bit but it didn't. Why does she need a BFG and what the fuck is a BFG?

"What the fuck is a BFG?" I shouted. I never wanted to shout but my anger got the best of me. I try to help and she flinches but she wants a BFG. What can it give her that I can't?

I was lost I'm my turmoil that I almost didn't hear her. " BFG is m-my m-my" She stuttered out but was cut short when someone barged in. I was angry that someone barged in without knocking. I turned in anger to shout at the person but I met with Andrew's worried face.

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