Extinguished

~9~ Awake

Ellie's POV

I know he was drunk. He was more than drunk, actually. I've never seen him like that before. I'm not going to lie and say that it didn't hurt when he called me Jessica last night. There must be something there. No matter how drunk you are, it doesn't give you a free pass to say or do whatever you feel. He called me Jessica. Maybe my gut feeling isn't wrong.

I hear him get out of bed and head to the kitchen. He must be hurting. The amount he drank last night would've kept most people bedridden all day. I pretend to still be sleeping. I'm not ready to pretend to ignore what he called me last night.

After a while, I hear him come back in the room. He gently pulls the covers back over me before he heads to take a shower. Such a simple gesture, yet it brings a lump to my throat. I'm still not ready to face him though, so I continue to lay there with my eyes closed.

He gets done, and I decide I need to get out of bed—Face the music, if you will. I start stirring, and slowly open my eyes. I might not win an Emmy, but I fooled him.

He smiles gently at me, but the smile doesn't quite reach his eyes. His eyes are sad. Something's wrong.

"How you feelin' tiger?" I ask, trying to act like my heart hasn't been aching all night.

"I've been better," he says quietly. He doesn't smile when he says that though. He always smiles.

"Can I get you something? I can make you some pancakes."

The corners of his mouth lift up a little, wanting to smile, but he doesn't. He just picks up one of my hands in both of his and kisses it. He has tears in his eyes. What the heck is going on?

"No, babe, I'm good. I think I'm gonna go for a run."

He gets up and goes to the closet to find clothes.

"Go for a run? Didn't you just take a shower?" He's being a nut. I've never seen him like this before.

He stops for just a minute, thinking about what I said. "Yeah I did," he chuckles softly. "I'm gonna go for a run anyways."

He gets dressed quickly and leaves, not even kissing me goodbye.

~*~

The next two days were weird. Taylor didn't say much, and when he did, it was simple. He stared at me all of the time, though. He would go to say something, and then stop. He did it constantly.

I'm grateful for shift today. I just need to get away from him for a while. Even though we work together, we don't see each other as often as you'd think.

I immediately bury myself in my work. After roll call is done, I escape to catch up on paperwork. I'm working hard for an hour, when I see Taylor watching me from a distance. That's all he does anymore. He just stares at me. It's like he's waiting for something. I suddenly see Jessica go up to Taylor, and he doesn't even acknowledge her. Not even a little bit. She gets mad and storms off. That should make me happy. But it doesn't. It just makes me feel worse. Sicker.

Megan comes up to me then, thankfully, getting me away from my inner monologue.

"Hey partner, wanna go gas up the rig? I need to get out for a while."

"Yes!" I say quickly as I shut my folder and go with her to the rig. I glance over at Taylor to wave goodbye to him, and he's staring at me in horror—Like he doesn't want me leaving with Megan.

We get gas and we sit in the parking lot, sipping on our 32 ounce Pepsi's and munching on our bag of Gardettos. It's a routine we've had every time we gas up, for the last 2 1/2 years. It's our little secret, and it's my favorite part of shift. I'm pretty quiet while we sit, and surprisingly so is Megan.