Extinguished

~10~ Numb

Taylor's POV

I'm in Chief's office right now, getting my ass handed to me.

"What the hell were you thinking, Preston? I don't even wanna KNOW how much money you just cost us." He says as he's trying not to scream at me.

I just look at him, saying nothing. Forming any kind of verbal response would take more strength than I have at the moment. What does it matter? She's leaving me. Tomorrow, she won't be lying in bed next to me. I won't get to hear Liam tell me about his football practice.

Liam. I've lost Liam. I hadn't even let my mind go there until now. I've lost the only sense of true purpose I've ever felt. I've got nothing. I am nothing.

That's when I lose my ever lovin' mind.

I start sobbing. Gut wrenching sobs that take away every shred of masculinity I have. I'm sobbing like a baby, barely even breathing.

Chief grabs me by the shoulders and pulls me into his arms, holding me while I hug him back and cry.

"She's gone. He's gone."

"Ellie?!?"

He's completely shocked and not believing a word of it. He was one of the people coming to the proposal this weekend.

"They're gone. I messed up," I say, trying to at least calm my sobbing down to just crying.

"Why? How?" He asks, pulling me out of his embrace and staring hard into my eyes.

"I cheated," I say as a fresh wave of sobs rack through my body.

"I don't understand," Ryder whispers as he shakes his head. He knows how in love with her I am. He knows how much I love that kid. He knows we are meant to be.

"I got drunk....More than drunk....Jessica."

He puts his hand to his head and sighs. He knows Ellie. He knows this would be the one thing that would end our relationship. He knows I ruined everything.

I finally calm down enough that I'm at least able to see clearly. I sit back down; I'm going to collapse if I don't.

Chief just sits there, silently staring at me, trying to figure out what words of wisdom he can give me. We both know he's got nothing.

"Don't worry about the computer and window. We'll figure it out," he says quietly

I again say nothing. I don't care about the damn computer. I don't care about anything.

I sit in there for a long time—Quietly. Neither of us saying anything. I needed quiet...Solitude.

Once I finally leave, I head to the bathroom. When I make my way to the sink, I look at myself in the mirror. I don't even recognize the man staring back; I've got bloodshot eyes that are so swollen, it looks like I got beat. That's how I feel. I wish somebody would just finish me off.

I hide out in my office the rest of the night. The only person who bothered me was Greene. He never even said anything, though. He just put his hand lightly on my shoulder as he passed me and made his way over to the window; Chief asked him to board it up for tonight.

I sit there quietly, staring at the wall and listening to Greene hammer. I've lost all sense of time. As he was getting ready to leave, I finally speak.

"How is she?" I ask quickly. I need to know. There's nothing I can do about it either way, but not knowing is some form of torture.

He stops, and thinks for a moment before speaking.

"She hasn't said a word; I don't know."

"She hasn't even talked to Megan?"

"No. She left with somebody a bit ago, but she's back now. She's been doing inventory for an hour."

"Who?" I ask, suddenly curious.

"We don't know. We've never seen him before. Megan has been wanting to ask her."

"Big body builder guy?" I ask. I know immediately who it is.

"Yeah," he responds, curiosity burning in his voice.

"Shit. It's her brother, Jake—The one she hates. If she's asking for his help, she's beside herself," I say as a fresh wave of tears start again.

I did this to her. I pushed her into the arms of the man she hates the most. Well, used to hate the most. I get that spot now.

~*~

It's well after midnight now when I see Ellie walking into the sleeping quarters. She doesn't even look my direction, even though it's obvious I'm still in my office. She lays down on her cot, with her back facing me.

I stare at her for a few moments, until the pain is so debilitating that I need to leave. I go out to the common room and watch reruns on TV until the sun comes up.

The next morning I'm still sitting on the couch. I haven't moved. Everyone starts waking up and finishing up things before next shift comes in.

I see Ellie come out and she immediately sees me. Her back stiffens as she walks the other direction quickly. I sigh as I stand up. How are we going to be able to keep working together?

I get my stuff done, and we have about 20 minutes left of shift. I decide to hang out in my office until shift is over and she leaves. I can't handle her ignoring me. Not yet.

I really hope this doesn't ruin her and Megan's friendship. Megan didn't do anything wrong. Yesterday morning as soon as shift started, she pulled me to the side—furious.

"Have you told her?" She asked, with her hands on her hips. She looked about to punch me.

"No," I replied curtly. "I can't. I've tried a hundred times."

"Well you better figure out how to tell her quickly. If you think I'm gonna stand by and say nothing while my best friend agrees to marry someone who cheated on her, then you don't know me. You've got two days to tell her before I do."

She didn't say another word as she turned around and left.

I didn't expect anything less. I knew she would tell Ellie eventually. At least she gave me the chance to first; I appreciated that.

Shift is over and I figure the coast is clear. I head into the locker room to change out and leave. I was right, Ellie wasn't there. Once I'm dressed, I head for my car, not bothering to say goodbye to anyone. As I head for my car I see her.

Getting in the car with her brother.