Extinguished

~15~ Surprise

Ellie's POV

It's been a couple weeks, and nothing has really gotten any better. Besides the fact that we can at least be in the same room with each other, that's about the extent of it. We don't talk to each other, or even look at each other.

Liam came by the station today to drop me off some Gatorade. I haven't been feeling the best, and this wonderful son of mine wanted to help me. I gave him a huge hug as I thanked him.

"Where's Taylor?" He asks scanning the room for his friend.

"I'm not sure, check his office," I say, chuckling softly. Here I thought for a moment he really just came to bring me Gatorade. I can now see that I've been duped.

Liam leaves to find Taylor, while I start sipping on my Gatorade. I'm really not feeling well.

A while later, the two come out with Taylor's arm around Liam's shoulder. I haven't seen Taylor smile like that since, well, since the breakup.

It brings a tightening to my chest. You can tell what kind of a man he is. He still loves his ex-girlfriend's son. How many people can say that?

Liam stays for a couple hours, playing some
H-O-R-S-E with Taylor, Greene, Diego, and Keegan. The laughs coming from all of them is refreshing. I haven't heard Liam or Taylor laugh in weeks.

Things aren't good with Moss and Taylor; He wants nothing to do with her. This poor girl is so in love with him, she's making an absolute fool out of herself. I would feel bad, but I don't.

It would be so much worse if he liked her back, but I know he doesn't. I've known that all along; That was never the issue.

Liam leaves, and a while later, we sit down for supper. Gibbs made tacos, which I'm super excited about.

I sit next to Megan with my plate of tacos, when I'm suddenly not feeling hungry. These tacos smell horrible!

"Meg, is something wrong with these?" I ask, picking one up to smell.

She picks up hers. "Nope, they're fine," she says, shrugging her shoulders.

Suddenly my stomach is reeling. I rush from the table, barely making it before I throw up into the toilet. I must have a bug. I feel awful.

I head back to the common area, and I root around in the fridge until I find a sprite. I then look in the cabinets and find some saltines. As I'm getting my things, I see Taylor coming up to me.

"You ok, Freeman?" He asks, concern on his face.

"Yeah, I must have a bug."

He suddenly reaches up and puts the back of his hand to my forehead. I immediately flinch from his touch. It's too soon. Too much.

He realizes what he's done immediately. He didn't mean to. He could tell I'm not feeling well, and his reflexes took over.

He immediately pulls his hand back, and looks down to the ground.

"I'm sorry, I don't know why I did that," he says, shaking his head as he turns to leave. "I hope you feel better."

He walks back to his table, and every single eye is on us.

I go back to my table and sit down, sipping on my sprite and nibbling on a cracker.

"What's up?" Megan asks quietly.

"I'm not sure. I was feeling ok until I smelled those tacos. I feel horrible now."

Megan looks at me for a long moment before she whispers in my ear. "El, is there any chance you're pregnant?"

Ringing. The ringing in my ears is suddenly so loud I can't concentrate.

Could I be pregnant? Am I late? Oh my gosh, I think I'm late! The last time Taylor and I had sex was the morning once we got home from our shift—The night he cheated. That was four weeks ago.

By the time I look back at Megan, my face must've given me away. She looks at me quietly for just a moment before she says "Chief, we're gonna gas up. We'll be back."

Chief nods at us as we get up and leave.

We pull into the drugstore and go inside. I haven't purchased a pregnancy test since I was 15. I don't know what the heck I'm doing. I've always been so careful after I had Liam at 16. Careful. Birth control is taken at the exact same time every single day. Sometimes I would even make Taylor take precautions too, just in case. How the heck could it be possible?

That's when I remember. I had gotten a UTI and was put on Trimethoprim. How could I have been so stupid?!? Antibiotics affect birth control. Oh no!!!

I get what I need and we go back to the rig. I tell Megan what I just realized.

"What's the chances of this just being a really big coincidence?" I ask her.

"You need to prepare yourself. The odds of you not being pregnant are small," she says sadly.

We get back to the station and I get out, with the box tucked under my shirt. I hope nobody wants to chat right now. This box is kinda obvious.

Megan and I go into the bathroom—The thing I hate most about this station is that the bathrooms aren't private. They're just stalls. So, anybody could walk in.

Megan reads my mind and goes to lock the door. Somebody is going to be so mad if they try to come in right now, but I couldn't care less.

I take the test, and put it on the sink. I can't even look at it. I just sit on the floor, facing away from the sink. In three minutes, it's very possible my life will get a lot more complicated.

A part of me is hoping that I am, though. I will still have a piece of Taylor this way. And then he could still be in my life. The thought of that takes my breath away for a minute.

"It's time," Megan says as she shuts off the timer on her phone.

"You do it, I can't," I say as I look at her, on the verge of crying.

She stands up and gets the test. She looks at it briefly, and then kneels down to me and stares into my eyes as she puts her hands on my knees. "You're going to be fine. I'm with you every step of the way," she says with tears in her eyes.

I know what that means. I start crying before I even look at the test. She hands the test to me and I see it.

In my hands, I have two VERY pink lines.

I hyperventilate. I just lift my knees to my chest and sob. How could I be in this situation again? Pregnant without being married, again. I tried to do better this time. Why do my children have to keep being born into a broken family? How did I do this again? I can't do this again.

I continue to cry, with my head between my knees, holding my positive pregnancy test in my hand. Suddenly I feel Megan sit beside me, and pull me into her arms.

Except that it's NOT Megan. I would know those strong arms anywhere. It's Taylor. He's sitting next to me on the bathroom floor, staring at the pregnancy test in my hand, silently holding me.