Extinguished

~36~ Space

Taylor's POV

When I was joking about getting my ass handed to me with the guys a few minutes ago, I wasn't being literal. She just slapped me! I'm pissed. I'm mostly mad at myself for kissing her, but I'm mad at her too. These last two months, there's been some definite moments between us. We were clicking again. It felt like things were starting to move out of the friend zone.

There was one night about a month ago, when she was playing with Sasha on the floor; She was trying to do tummy time with her. Ellie told me it was supposed to help strengthen her neck and her spine. If you ask me, it just looked like something moms made up to make them think their babies are more advanced than they are.

She was laying on the floor next to Sasha, and smiling and being silly with her. I went over to them and laid on my stomach next to them. "How are my girls?" I asked, looking at Sasha and kissing her cheek.

"We're good," Ellie smiles softly at me. I'm now inches away from Ellie's face. The way she looks at me, I know she's wanting to kiss me, she just can't bring herself to lean in first. I finally get up the guts to, and start leaning in. She doesn't flinch. She's ready. Suddenly Sasha lets out a huge cry, and our attention turns to her. The moment was gone.

I thought this was another moment; I misread the mood. I should've known how upset she was... Upset with Liam, upset with me, and missing Sasha. That was the trifecta for a disaster. So not only did she reject my kiss, she smacks me. Man that girl has power behind her. My cheek is throbbing. If I don't have a welt, it's going to be unbelievable.

I stay in my office for a couple hours, trying to avoid Ellie. Actually, I'm trying to avoid everybody. The Lieutenant from squad can't be seen with a handprint on his face. Doesn't give me the hard-ass Lieutenant image I've made for myself the last 8 years.

Greene comes into the office after a while, and sits on my bed. "Heard about what happened. You ok?" He asks with a slight chuckle. I'm sure my face looks ridiculous.

"Great, it's made its way through the house?" I ask, starting to feel embarrassed.

"Nah. Just Megan. It won't go any further."

"You ever gonna date that girl? Ellie told me she's been working on the two of you for the last 6 months or so," I say, winking at him.

"That's my plan. I just have to work up the courage to ask her."

"Yeah, well do yourself a favor and read the mood first. Don't go in for a kiss when she's already mad," I say, rubbing my cheek gingerly.

"She really got ya. It's turning purple."

"Yeah, well, I'm done trying. I tried forever to get that girl to even date me. She finally does, and then she leaves me two years later. I should never have asked her to move in with Sasha. I should've known it would only be a matter of time before I couldn't ignore how much I love her. She's stubborn. She's never gonna let me back in her life."

"She HAS let you back in her life," Greene says quietly.

"Yeah, well now I want back in her heart, and if I'm being honest, her bed—But I know it's never gonna happen, so I'm done always having my tail between my legs," I say, standing up to leave. I'm done hiding. I'm done begging. I'm done pretending. We're just friends—That's all we'll ever be.

I go into the kitchen to grab something to eat. There's still some leftover chicken from dinner. I go and heat up my chicken and grab a soda from the fridge. I see Ellie staring at me on the couch, but I ignore her. I grab my food and sit down at the table to eat. Greene and Diego sit down next to me, and we start talking about the drills we did today.

~*~

The rest of the shift goes by uneventfully. Neither of us even look at the other one. When it's time to leave, I just wait for her outside. She comes out and sees me, and starts walking over to me. Her expression is hard to read, but honestly I really didn't look at her for long. I'm mad. I'm hurt. I'm embarrassed...So like the adult that I am, I give her the silent treatment.

The car ride to get Sasha is awkward. We both say nothing as she stares out her window. I turn up the radio a little louder, just to try and drown out the silence.

We get to Keegan's and she gets out quickly. She's as anxious to see Sasha as I am. As soon as we see her, Ellie immediately says "there's my girl!" As she takes her from Julia and kisses her over and over and over. She gives her one more squeeze and passes her, silently, to me.

The moment I have her in my arms, my problems disappear. I have all I need in this world, right here. This little thing, is all that truly matters. I give her a kiss, as I put her in her car seat and buckle her. As Ellie goes to collect the rest of her things, I look over at her. "You ready?" I ask, finally looking at her. She nods silently and we head home.

When we get home we go do our own thing. Ellie snuggles Sasha on the couch, and I decide to go workout. I'm not ready to be in the same room with her. I say nothing as I get on my workout clothes and leave. I feel her eyes burning into my back as I shut the door.

I come back a while later, and go take a shower. When I get out, I hear Liam and Ellie talking in the living room. Liam's holding Sasha, and his posture is relaxed. It's obvious that his mom let him off the hook for his detention; I'm grateful. He may have broken the rules, but his intentions were good.

"Hey bud!" I say as I come out of my bedroom.

"Woah! What the heck happened to you?"

"Eh, just a run in with a crazy person," I say, smiling gently. Although I'm still pissed, I was able to work out some of my frustrations at the gym.

"Did you do that?" He asks, looking at his mom in horror.

"Why do you just assume that I hit him?" She asks, sounding offended.

The fact that she sounds offended right now makes me inwardly smirk. She did hit me.

"Because you were mad he covered for me. Plus, mom, your track record hasn't been that great lately. You hit Uncle Jake, and then you hit Taylor in the lip the time you had a night terror. I swear, if I hit as many people as you have lately, I'd been sitting on a pillow for a week."

"First, young man, Jake deserved that one. Second, I didn't know I had hit Taylor in the lip until the next morning, and third.... mind your own dang business."

That's when I almost lose it. I stifle a chuckle and bite my lip—My plan is to continue ignoring her, so she can't hear me laugh. I shake my head as I head to the kitchen to find myself something to eat.

Liam drops the subject after that, knowing that he better not press it with his mom. They start chatting about his dad's new girlfriend for a while.

The rest of the evening I keep to myself. I know I'm being childish, but at this point I just don't care. I'm upset. I'm upset at so many different things that it's just spilling over. Ellie senses that I need to be away from her, so she takes Liam, and the two go to a movie together. It's just me and Sasha for a few hours, and it was amazing.

She just slept on my chest while I watched the game. I needed that. I needed space, and time alone with my daughter. At least I have one girl in my life who needs me.