Extinguished

~28~ Terrors

Taylor's POV

It's been a month since the incident; It's been hard. While Jessica had the gun pointed at her, Ellie looked un-phased. Bored, perhaps. I thought maybe the hormones had gone to her head, and she didn't have a good reality on fear anymore.

I realized a day or two later that it was just a REALLY good poker face. She changed. She became quiet and she would jump over everything. Liam and I realized very quickly that we could only have certain things on the television without her hyperventilating. We couldn't even have sports on. If we would forget and cheer, she would go as white as a sheet. We didn't like leaving her home by herself, so we always coordinated our schedules with each other so she was never alone.

The third night after it happened, I was sleeping, when suddenly I heard a blood curdling scream. I jumped out of bed as fast as I could and ran to her room. I thought for sure she was being attacked. Liam met me there at the same time. He looked just as scared as I felt. We went in her room and turned on the light, and she's just sitting up in bed screaming, having a night terror.

It took both of us holding her and telling her it was ok, for her to finally settle down....At least 10 minutes of screaming. I thought for sure the cops were going to get called. The next morning I was expecting her to be embarrassed, apologize, something.

She had no idea it even happened.

Liam and I didn't have the heart to tell her, so we didn't. She's had night terrors every single night for the last four weeks. Some are worse than others, but every single night I've been woken up with screaming—She still has absolutely no idea.

Last night was a really bad one; She screamed for almost half an hour. She even punched me in the face at one point; My lip is really swollen this morning.

I come out of my room into the kitchen, and see Ellie doing dishes. She made breakfast and left me a plate.

"Good morning!" She says, with a smile on her face.

"Morning," I say, my voice still thick with sleep. I didn't get more than a couple hours of sleep last night. Once she finally quit screaming, I couldn't go back to sleep. I stared at the ceiling for hours after that. I've already explained to my neighbors what's going on, but eventually they're going to complain. I've got to do something soon.

"What happened, Taylor?" Her voice is immediately concerned as she looks at my lip.

I've got to tell her. She's got to get some help. This is as good a time as any I guess. After last night, it's only a matter of time before the landlord kicks us out. There's no way that everybody slept through all of that.

"Can we talk?" I ask, suddenly nervous. I've been dreading this day for weeks.

She says nothing as she sits down next to me, her eyes wide with concern.

"Who did that to you?" She asks, grabbing my hand in hers.

"You did, Ellie Jane," I say, looking her in the eyes, waiting.

She starts laughing. "You're funny...I'm serious, what happened?"

"I'm being serious too. You hit me last night in your sleep."

She looks at me for a moment while my words register with her. "I don't understand," she finally says, quietly.

I take a deep breath and grab her hands in mine, as I reach them up to my mouth and kiss them quickly. "You need help, Ellie Jane. You're not ok. You haven't been ok since Jessica."

She immediately jerks her hands away, anger flashing across her face. "I'm fine, Taylor."

"No, you're not fine." I say raising my voice. I'm a little angry too. Angry at myself, angry at Jessica, and angry at her. I'm pissed that she'll never let anyone help her. Not ever.

"You haven't been fine since it happened. Liam and I have tried everything. EVERYTHING. Alex is beside himself. Hell, I even called your dad, asking him for help. You scream in your sleep, every single night. EVERY. SINGLE. NIGHT. We can't have the news on, we can't watch sports, we can't even play Call of Duty anymore." I'm about to cry. Why does this woman always make me wanna cry?

"I've never asked you to quit doing anything," she says, getting defensive.

"OF COURSE YOU HAVEN'T. YOU NEVER ASK ANYBODY FOR ANYTHING!!!"

Now in my defense, I never meant to scream at her. I've actually never screamed at her. Not once. Even our worst argument we had when we were dating I didn't scream—But I'm so stressed out. I don't know what to do. So, I scream at her like a lunatic.

She takes a deep breath and shakes her head. "Fine. You want me to admit it? Ok, here it goes.... I'm scared. I'm scared every second of every day. I thought I was going to die that day. I thought I was going to leave Liam without a mom. I thought this girl, who already took you away from me, was going to take my life too. Not to mention this babies life. I can't quit thinking about it. I...can't...." that's when she starts sobbing. Gut wrenching, heartbreaking sobs rack through her entire body.

This is what I've been waiting for. I've been waiting for her to breakdown. To admit that she's not ok. To admit that it's ok to admit that you're not ok. To ask for help.

It's ok to be broken.

I get up and walk around the island, and hold her. I bring her down with me to the ground, as she cries into my chest. I run soft patterns on her back with my hand, over and over, and over, until finally the sobs turn to cries. Then the cries finally turn to sniffles. Then she falls asleep. Just like that, she falls asleep in my arms, releasing the weight that's been on her this last month.

I pick her up and carry her to her bed, covering her up with the blankets. Instead of leaving though, I just sit there next to her. I just can't leave. I sit as she sleeps for two hours. Not moving.

She finally wakes up, and turns to look at me when she notices she's not alone.

"I lost my mind, didn't I?" She asks, a little embarrassed.

"For a while," I say with a smile. "But, I think you may have found it again."

"I'm sorry," she says, with tears in her voice again.

I don't say anything. Instead, I lay back on the bed and just bring her to me again. We just lay there for a while, with her head on my chest, saying nothing.

We're letting the silence wash over us. Healing us.