Love is Pain II Jane X OC II

Exhaustion

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Jane stood across from me her arms were folded and she was scowling. We were in the big throne room and many red eyes were watching us.

"You're a coward." Jane said coldly. "I can't believe you believed my facade, you foolish boy. How could I ever love someone like you?" She stepped closer to me and grabbed my throat. She lifted my legs off the ground and stared me in the eyes.

"You're weak." She insulted. The grip tightened around my throat, and it became impossible to breath.

"I hate you Kian. You're worthless. You're pathetic. I can't stand being around you. I wish you had never been born." She sneered. She let go of my throat and I fell to my knees pathetically. "You deserve to be miserable." She smiled maliciously. I felt the tears stream down my face. Her words cut like a knife. She turned and walked away from me as I gasped for breath.

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I woke up in a cold sweat. I felt tears running down my face. I quietly sobbed and sniffled. Artie groaned and turned over. I layed back down and buried my face in the pillow. I didn't want to seem weak or pathetic like Jane had said in the dream.

It was just a dream. Jane didn't really feel like that. Did she? I layed still for a long time, waiting for Jane's knock to call me into her study. Jane never knocked, Artie left for work and I was left alone. I wasn't going to go to work with Artie, I was still furious with him.

I got up and walked out the door. I walked toward Jane's office. I paused in front of the door and knocked. There was no answer. I knocked again, but the room remained silent. Finally, I pushed open the door, but the room was empty.

Without thinking I walked down the hall and stopped in front of the throne room door. I knocked lightly, and the door creaked open. A woman stood in the entrance. I didn't recognize her.

"Is there something you need?" She asked.

"Um, yes I was looking for mistress Jane. Do you know where she is?" I questioned politely.

"She's out on business. Most of the gaurd is gone along with Aro, Caius, and Marcus." She informed me.

"Okay, thank you." I walked down the hall quickly so she wouldn't ask questions. I heard the door shut in the distance.

What was I going to do now?

I went to the work room and started scrubbing cloaks carefully. I ignored Artie I didn't even want to look at him. I scrubbed until my arms were stiff and my body was sore. I could see what Artie meant when he said it took his mind of things.

I tried not to think about what had happened in the past few days. I went back to my room got dressed in my sleep clothes. I layed down on my bed and stared at the ceiling. I tried to keep my mind blank, but I couldn't. I thought about how badly I missed Jane, and how I had ruined everything.

Tears ran down my face and I turned over and hid my face in the pillow again. I didn't get any sleep. I just layed awake and sobbed quietly. The night dragged on, but eventually morning came. I got up and went right to work scrubbing away at the cloaks again.

This cycle went on for weeks. Jane had come back from her first business trip, but the next day she was gone again. I spent every day working until I exhausted myself. I was getting less and less sleep and I could barely touch my food.

I was losing weight rapidly and was looking weaker every day. I didn't care. I figured I'd eventually burn myself out and I would die. It wasn't like I had anything to live for anyway.

I was scrubbing cloaks again, I felt tears fall down my face as I worked through the pain I had in my arms.

"Get over it!" Artie yelled from across the room.

"Over what." I snapped. I set down the wet cloak I had been working on.

"Get over Jane leaving you. I'm so sick of your constant crying! You keep me up all night!" He yelled.

"I wasn't even thinking about Ja- ...that. my arms hurt and I'm exhausted. I'm sorry that I'm annoying you!" I screamed at him.

"You're a terrible friend! You've abandoned me so many times over that evil woman, and I'm sick of it!" He argued.

"We were never friends!" I argued and stood up. Artie stomped over to me.

"Your just as horrible as Jane is!" He screamed in my face.

"Leave her out of this!" I demanded.

"She's a monster! She kills people constantly! She enjoys others pain! You are insane for tolerating her!" He bellowed.

"Shut up!" I screamed. I clenched my fists and tears started to fall down rapidly.

"Damn you Kian." He spat. He turned and stomped out of the room slamming the door behind him. I got back onto the floor and worked myself until I collapsed in exhaustion.

That was the second time that had happened. I woke up on the floor, my entire body ached and I could barely stand. I stumbled out of the room and slowly found my way to my bed. I flopped down and waited. I wanted to fall asleep. I wanted a break from this horrible pain, both physically and emotionally.

I was so hurt, I used to have friends here. I used to be happy, but I ruined that. I had pushed away the only people in my life that cared. I ruined everything. Why couldn't I just let people get close to me? Why did I have to be alone?

I managed to fall asleep. I had the same nightmare I had every night. The one of Jane demanding me to leave and shutting me out. I woke up, and layed awake. I couldn't move without sending jabs of pain across my body. I was working myself to death and I knew it.

But, I didn't care.