How to Crush the Right Way

32| the lub-dub sound

32 | the lub-dub sound

Labrinth - Forever

*

I watched a show once and one of the characters said something that I would never forget;  'it is pretty easy for a friend to become a lover. One of the two has to take a step closer to the other. This one step makes the relation of the two change' - I had always wondered how true it was and if I would get to experience this myself.

"You don't look fine," Anwar mumbled softly as he slowly walked closer to where I was standing.

How did he even find me? I thought I was isolated.

"I'm fine," I shuddered.

I didn't like the fact that I was lying to his face but I had to. I didn't want to know the consequences of telling him the truth. Telling Anwar Santino that I might have feelings for him.

"You're lying to me again," he said, "you're also lying to yourself."

At this point, my eyes were fixated on the grass beneath my feet. It felt as though if I looked up into his eyes, he was going to be able to see through me. He was going to be able to pluck all my thoughts about him one by one and lay them before us so that I'd be forced to confront my feelings.

"I don't know, Anwar, maybe I am lying but it doesn't matter," I whispered.

His shoes were opposite mine on the grass and the proximity between us was enough to make my brain turn into porridge. I was afraid to look up, cause if I did, I knew that my eyes would catch his and I didn't think that my heart was ready for all that would come from just a simple gaze.

Anwar used his finger to lift my chin up, forcing me to look at him. His skin felt rough but that was understandable because of the rock climbing and hiking.

His expression was indecipherable but whatever feeling that was radiating from him was unyielding. It was exhilarating and compelling.

"Ashley, I like Jade.."

It felt as if my heart had come to a halt and I immediately pulled his hand away from my face and stepped back.

"Or at least, I thought I did," he continued.

My ears perked.

Was I hearing him correctly?

"At first I didn't understand why I found myself searching for your face when we were in a crowd, and why talking to you became the highlight of my day but then it hit me. I like you. Not just as my friend, as more than that. I have so much to say but I'm nervous, I've never really done this before," he chuckled and drew in a deep breath, "so I wrote a note for you to read. If you feel the same way, come and find me and if you don't..." he trailed off.

I looked up at him when I felt his fingers tug at my hand. He slipped a paper in my palm. His eyes twinkled and the corners of my mouth began to quirk up.

He nodded and began to depart.

A smile made its way onto my face but I still felt uneasy. Jade liked Anwar and I couldn't do that to her. I didn't want to ruin our friendship but at the same time, I wanted to be happy.