Hold My Paper [ON HOLD!!!]

Panic

"Happy birthday to you...happy birthday to you...happy birthday dear Danny...happy birthday to you!"

Grayson plastered a fake smile across his face and clapped his hands for his little brother who had just turned seven. He felt anything but happiness, all he felt was dread for tomorrow, his day back at school. Normally, Grayson acts like the constant bullying never phased him. Deep down it felt like a thousand knives piercing into his stomach. Especially after...that.

He poked the cake with his fork, unable to force any of it down. His apatite seemed to have disappeared along with his sense of security. He felt like everybody was looking at him as if they knew everything that had transpired. Suddenly his chest felt heavy and sweat piled up at his forehead.

Water. Why is there so much water? It's pulling me under and I'm going to die this way. I'm drowning. Why is nobody saving me? I'm dying. I'm dying!

His drastic thoughts are cut short by a gust of cool air against his face, making him breathe out with relief. He feels his mother gently kiss the side of his cheek, prompting him to flinch away.

"Are you alright, Gray? You look sick." His mother's voice raises with concern and Grayson automatically feels guilty. Now he has worried his mother, something he never wants to inflict on her.

Grayson sits up a bit and rubs his eyes, "Yeah, mom, I'm just tired."

"Go upstairs and get some rest, the party is almost over." His mother smiles warmly and goes off to tend to some of Danny's friends asking for cake. Over the years Grayson had gotten so skilled at blocking things out, he barely registered what his mother had told him.

His leg bounces restlessly for several minutes until his mother proclaims it's time for presents. Grayson staggers off upstairs, still sore, and quietly shuts his bedroom door. He feels like screaming, but he can't do that right now, so instead, he rams his head into his pillow. It soon becomes damp with his tears and labored breathing, until everything finally slips out from him. Sleep at last...

Sleep isn't long enough, though. He soon finds himself struggling to open his locker, small huffs of aggravation falling out of his mouth. Why does everything have to be so difficult? After jamming in the code countless times and some banging, it creaks open. Papers scattered all over the floor, clearly have fallen out from his locker. Presuming they are just the math worksheets he hurries to pick them up.

Fairy. It reads in all capital letters, his heart sinks with each one. He tries to gather them up as quickly as he can before other kids start to see.

Fag. Twink. Sissy. There are so many all across the hallway and now kids are picking them up and throwing paper balls of the slurs at him. It's all too much to handle, everything is too damn much.

"Stop it!" He cries out at absolutely nobody but everybody at the same time. They don't even bother to look twice, some even laugh at him and dare to come up with more hurtful words. The hall finally seems quiet and he slumps down in front of his locker. Missing class is the last thing on his mind right now, he just wants to go home.