Just Me, Him, and Ten Others - (Ruth Harris Series)

Chapter 10

A few days later I was lying on my bed, at about two o'clock in the afternoon, staring at the bumpy ceiling and pondering on those very same words.
               'Pain is a part of life that everyone deals with differently.'
'...you dealt with it in the best way you knew how to at the time.'
'Before you leave this hospital, you are going to know how you, Ruth Harris, as an individual, can deal with rubbish like this in the future without pushing people away.'
'Has anyone else noticed how handsome Hunter is?' (- Well, that voice certainly wasn't Westone's.)
'We get it, Hailey. After ten months, a year before that, and all of Ruth's childhood, his male beauty still never ceases to amaze you. Get over it.'
'He's as tall as Westone. 6'1" at least.'
'Can we get back to the matter at hand?' Charity asked. 'Westone's given us all some great advice, let's take heed of it!'
'I suppose you're right. We all need to start being more positive. Insults, damaging comments, impulsive decisions .. all of those things put us in danger of death again. We've had three close calls so far; let's not risk a fourth.'
'Three? I only remember two?'
'Three: Ruth jumped off the Itchen Bridge when she was sixteen, remember? Then she drank herself into a coma around her twenty-first birthday, and then she stuck a shard of broken glass into her thigh this summer. I'm not including all the cut wrists and attempts to drown herself in the bath over the years - those were never even near successful.' Fischer stated, typically unemotionally. I gulped.
'Oh. Oh yeah.'
               'Westone said we'd be able to deal with the crap in our lives before we leave the hospital.' Hailey said thoughtfully, a little while later. 'How long do you think that will take?'
'A few more weeks, tops? Three months have gone by, and Ruth is a much stronger, more well adjusted person now. And Dr Westone called her episode last week a 'breakthrough', not a breakdown. He thinks she's making progress. I think we all are.'
'Well put, Julie. It's nice to hear you using some fortification for once!'
'Oh please. Look, when we signed up for this admission we knew it wouldn't be a long term thing. We're not here to stay. We need the sunlight, and freedom, adventure. Ruth doesn't want to be a house mouse anymore; she wants to have the wind in her hair and Hunter by her side. And we all want out of this prison too. So let's just help her out here, okay?'
'Okay.' we said in unison. I was sure that if George, X, Blaze, January and Jim had been present alters, they would have agreed too.

'You know, I still haven't had a proper tour of this place.'
               I lifted my pensive head from its pillow, and spotted Salieri standing in our doorway, arms crossed and eyes set on me. She said, 'You've been a recluse for days now and it's getting on my nerves. Are you planning to leave this room at all in the next week?'
               I pretended to think about it.
'Nope.'
'Oh come on, Tyler. It's not good for you to stay cooped up like this, just, thinking all day long.'
'I've got a lot to think about!' I defended myself. 'After what happened to me last week - all my rambling and dissociating -, I-I just need to slow down for a bit.'
'I get it. I've been there. But you're turning into a fricking couch potato as opposed to a house mouse. You've barely left your bed in three days!' Salieri trudged over to my bed and sat down heavily on the end of it. 'Out in the real world, you don't get to 'slow down' after crap happens - because the crap keeps coming. So if you slow down now, soon enough you'll find that all the crap is piled on top of you and you'll drown in it.' She looked at me, clearly pleased with her odd, gross analogy.
'You are very much a character, Salieri.' I said, shutting my eyes again. I think she smiled.
'Well then? Are you gonna get up?'
'Do you know what I keep thinking about?'
               Salieri groaned an almost inaudible 'here we go' and lay down too. Sixth months ago that comment alone would have sent my head reeling through different dimensions, being battled over by some of my unpredictable, dangerous personalities while I tried to figure out if she was judging me or joking. Now, however, miraculously, I was fine. In fact, I laughed.
               'I keep thinking about how Andy and Jodie are off starting their relationship, and they're probably falling in love, and Hunter has to sit back and watch them while his girlfriend is trying to get sane in an institution an hour away. He must be at least a little bit jealous, even if he won't admit it to me. He must want that for himself. Plus, my friend Susie rang me all upset yesterday because her boyfriend chucked her - apparently he couldn't be bothered to put the work in any longer, - so that got me thinking even more: what if Hunter gets tired of looking after me, and chucks me after a whole year? Or ten!?'
               I closed my eyes again, not sure when I had opened them, and sighed. Salieri sighed too.
'No.' she said, her voice uncharacteristically soft. 'No, I don't think so. Hunter's different. I may not have met the man, but from what you've told me, I think all the poor kid wants is a healthy relationship, for both of you. He's clearly chosen you over any basic bitch on the street. You two have something special. Everyone here knows it.' I snuck a glance at Salieri, who was looking down at her scarred left wrist. She sighed and let her arm fall back to the bed. 'He's being patient with you, Tyler, but if you keep pushing him away...he might just one day fall off the edge.'
               We stewed in silence for a little while. I took a deep breath, and was about to bring her dad into the conversation when Salieri jumped up off the bed, looked at me, a twinkle of excitement in her eyes, and said, 'Honestly Tyler, sometimes you just need to build a bridge and get over it!'
'...Okay.' I said, trying not to pity her. She'd hate that. She'd hate it if I said, 'Don't try to change the subject, Sal, because we need to talk about how you're pushing your dad away to see how far he'll go before falling off the edge, because you're a sad little girl who needs my help.' No, I couldn't do it. Salieri was an adult, and I would treat her like one. She was going on a journey, and I wouldn't change her course.
'Alright then!' my friend cheered.
'Alright then.' I stood up. 'Thanks for knocking some sense into me, Salieri. You're a good friend.'
'Well, you can repay me by giving me a rundown of this place. Come on. 'I abhor the dull routine of existence, I crave for mental exaltation'! Tell me you know that one. No? How about, 'I burn, I pine, I perish'!? Oh, Tyler - never mind. Come on. I want to see where the good spots are - y'know, where I can hide things, what places we can break into. I'm so, so bored! Like, stab-a-knife-into-my-wrists, see-if-I-can-strangle-myself-with-my-bare-hands bored.'
'That's not funny.' I said, a reluctant smirk tugging at my lips. 'But, fine. I know exactly where to take you. Follow me.'