Anxious [H.S]

Chapter 44: We'll Be Alright

*Song: Landslide by Fleetwood Mac*

Harry and I got back from Boston last night. I can't believe it's November first already. As much as I feel like I've been with Harry for years, it feels like we haven't been together long at all. I just left from the lunch I had with Olive and Kenna. Kenna honestly seems happy for once. She has a boyfriend and she overall seems positive. I hope it stays like this, she really seems to be working on herself.

I pull into my parking spot, I get out of the car, and walk up the stairs to my apartment. I walk in my apartment and look around. Harry isn't in the living room or kitchen. I don't know where he is until I hear music coming from my bedroom.

"Well, I've been 'fraid of changin'. 'Cause I've built my life around you. But time makes you bolder. Even children get older. And I'm gettin' older, too. 'm gettin' older, too."

I walk into my bedroom and see Harry laying on the floor, staring at the ceiling. I know he's been going through a lot lately, mentally. He looks upset. I lay down on my stomach so I can look at him.

"Hey, what's going on?" I ask, grabbing his hand, putting it to my lips.

"I need to talk to you about something," he says and I immediately get nervous. "Don't be nervous. I just want to talk about something, this doesn't mean I'm doing it."

"Okay, go ahead," I say, nervously.

Harry sits up and pulls me onto his lap so I'm facing him. I wrap my arms around his shoulders as he rests his hands on my hips.

"Do you remember when I got that call when we were about to eat lunch in Salem?" he asks and I nod. "Jeffrey called me, because I told you that I told him how I was feeling, and he said he found a therapist in London and evidently she's really good."

"That's fantastic, Harry," I say and he nods.

"Yeah but I would have to move back to London and I feel like I have to do this alone. I love you but I think I'm going to need some space to figure out what's going on," he says and my heart drops.

"Okay whatever you think you need Harry. I have your back one hundred percent," I say, trying to be there for him as much as I can without him knowing my heart is breaking at the thought of him leaving. "When are you leaving?"

"Not until April, after your birthday. There is no way I'm missing your birthday. I just wanted to tell you now so we could prepare ourselves,"" he says, relieving me a little knowing we still have a couple of months. "And I'm not saying that in April we have to break up, we can still talk everyday. I just think I need to do this by myself. I really want-"

"Harry, baby, I understand, you don't need to justify it. I'm so happy that you are going to try to help yourself. I'll always be here for you, no matter what," I say, moving my hands to his cheeks. I can see he is upset at his own decision even if it's to help himself. "Hey, don't be upset there is no need to be, not right now. You're not leaving just yet."

He hugs me to him, tightly, putting his face in my neck as I hold onto him tighter. I can tell how stressed out he is. It's changed the whole energy in the room. Is this how he feels when I'm stressed out all the time? Because I hate this feeling, I feel so helpless. I can see that his own decision to get help for his stress and anxiety is paining him. He doesn't want to leave me. But I agree this is what he has to do, he has to be able to really figure out what's going on with him, without the distraction of me being there. I just have to savor this time with him in person as much as I can. I know he said we can still talk everyday but that isn't the same as being there in person. You can't just walk up and hug someone over the phone.