Anxious [H.S]

Chapter 62: I Don't Feel Like A Sunflower Today

Author's Note: This is the last and final chapter of Anxious. Don't forget to read the author's note in the next page. Thank you for reading, enjoy!

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I see the sun begin to shine through my curtains. I didn't go to sleep at all last night. I just laid there, still in one of Harry's shirts that smell like him. I don't really know what I wanted him to explain to me. Maybe why he didn't tell that girl to get off his lap? I get it's his friend and I know he would be upset if I sat on someone else's lap, even if he denies it. All he kept saying is that nothing happened between them but he didn't go into detail on how he even got into that situation and I don't think he wanted to. I wonder how he's doing right now, I know I shouldn't but I do. I wish he never left, none of this would have ever happened. Or if I came with him. But he didn't want me to. I guess it's too late for all that now. I just want to hear his voice but I can't bring myself to put his album on. That defeats the whole purpose of thinking about where I stand with him. I decide to get up and get into the shower.

The hot water hits my back and it honestly feels nice, not that it releases any stress but at least it feels nice. I'm supposed to be going out to lunch with Kenna and Olive today and I honestly don't want to go. Neither of them know that I broke up with Harry, they don't even know that he was here. I get out of the shower and stare at the sunflowers that are in the bathroom.

"This hurts, mom," I say, before I walk out of the bathroom. I wish my mother was here to hug me, that's what I need right now, just a hug. Is that too much to ask?

I walk into my room in just a towel looking for something to wear. My eyes catch one of my sunflower shirts but I decide it's not a good idea to wear that. I don't feel like a sunflower today. Instead I decide on a pink button up shirt with white jeans. I feel like I always wear things that are similar to this but I like it so why change it.

I do my hair and put a little makeup on to cover the exhaustion, which I never do. The last time I put makeup on was when I was in high school. It was always something that I thought was unnecessary. I'm not any good at it anyway. And some people can literally paint pictures on their eyelids and I think that's so cool, it's their form of art.

I sit down on the couch and just stare at the blank TV. I can't even bring myself to watch Beauty and the Beast and I never wanted to so bad in my life. But now all I think about when I watch that movie is him. I lay down on the couch and go on my phone, specifically to Twitter. There is nothing yet about anything. The last time anything happened was when he left everyone though we broke up but Harry confirmed that it wasn't true. I don't know what he's going to do now. I shut off my phone and close my eyes. Maybe I should take a nap, I'm exhausted. I slowly end up drifting off.

"I honestly don't know how you do that," Harry says as he pulls back from the kiss to look up at me as I sit on his lap.

"Do what?" I ask, giggling

"Be effortlessly beautiful?"he asks

"I don't know, how do you do it?" I ask as I begin to trace his swallow tattoo under his right collar bone. He blushes and smiles.

"Someone's flirty today," he states and I smirk, still concentrating on his tattoo.

"Maybe," I say and he giggles. "But with reason."

"What do you want to do today?" he asks, running his hand up and down my back under his shirt that I'm wearing.

"I want to just stay here with you, like this," I say and he smiles.

"Sounds good to me," he says, flipping us over so I am on my back. I giggle at the feeling and he kisses me, both of us smiling into the kiss.

"Leah, are you ready to go?" Kenna asks, waking me up from my nap. That dream felt too real. It's almost like I could feel everything that was happening.

"Yeah, sorry. I haven't been sleeping good," I say and she nods.

We get into the car and she shuffles Harry's album, landing on Kiwi. I haven't listened to it since before everything and it stings. Kenna sings along like she usually does. I'm fine until Kiwi is over and Ever Since New York begins to play. That used to be my comfort song but now all I want to do is cry.

"What is wrong with you? I'm playing your boyfriend's music and you aren't going to sing along?" she asks and I continue to look out the window. "Leah?"

"He's not my boyfriend anymore," I mumble.

"What?" Kenna shouts. "You broke up with him?"

"Yeah I broke up with him. I did what was right for me at the time Kenna," I explain.

"Leah are you nuts? I can't believe you. You get to have this incredible relationship with Harry Styles and you break up with him. Your one year anniversary was about to come up Leah. He gave you a promise ring and everything. What a waste!" she shouts as we start swerving on the road because Kenna is not paying attention.

"Were you not the one that said he cheated on me? And besides that, why do you care? You have James, you're in love with him," I question.

"No I'm not!" she yells, startling me. "I'm not in love with James. He's a distraction Leah!"

"A distraction from what?" I question, confused.

"A distraction from you and Harry!" she says.

"You're still on that!" I shout. "Are you kidding me Kenna? I can't believe you haven't gotten over that yet and just accept that I was happy. You know what Kenna? I blame this break up on you, you got into my head and I should've known that you weren't trying to be a friend you were just trying to get me to break up with him! I don't know what you think that is going to do for you anyway besides lose me!"

"Leah it's not my fault that you broke up with Harry! That was your decision! I didn't force you to do anything! You decided to do that!" she shouts.

"You were supposed to be assuring me that everything is okay and instead you told me that I was being cheated on!" I say. "But that's what you wanted right?" The car swerves. "Can you get control of your car please?"

"I have control!" she shouts.

"No you don't! You're not even paying attention!" I shout.

"I am paying attention!" she defends.

"Seriously Kenna! Pull over and let me drive!" I scream.

"This is all your fault you know?" she says.

"My fault? How is this my fault?" I question.

"Because you took Harry Styles for granted!" she shouts.

"I did not!" I say and Kenna goes over a curb, losing control of the car completely. "Kenna!"

It all happens in slow motion. The car, flipping, over and over and over again. You know, you never really know how you're going to feel right before you die until you get put into the situation. Life flashes before your eyes. Happy moments, sad moments, confusing moments, the people you love, Harry. Everything goes black.