Anxious [H.S]

Chapter 45: Cheers

*Song: Wildflowers by Tom Petty*

The whole month of November has gone by fast, too fast. I wish things would slow down a little. Today is Thanksgiving and we are all going over to Kenna's house. By all of us I mean, Harry and I, Kenna's boyfriend James, Olive, Olive's sister, Alex, and Olive's mom. This is new for us because usually Kenna would go home to Boston to have dinner with her family and I would do Thanksgiving with Olive's family. But this year since Kenna and her parents are no longer speaking she decided to host Thanksgiving. Harry has never really celebrated Thanksgiving, obviously. So this is a first for him.

    I get out of the shower and get dressed into a white shirt, jeans and a brown cardigan. I know white is going to be a bad idea considering the huge possibility of me dropping food on myself but I think it'll be okay.

I blow dry and straighten my hair and walk into my bed room where Harry is sitting on my bed with a notebook, a pen, and his guitar. He's playing the same thing he has been playing since we were in London. I wonder what he's going to do with it.

    "Got anything good going on over there?" I ask, as I put my shoes on.

    "No, I've only got this guitar part but I can't come up with lyrics for the life of me," he says and I walk over to him.

    "Don't worry they'll come to you eventually," I say and he pulls me down to kiss me.

    "You look lovely today," he says, pulling away, standing up to get his shoes on.

    "Thank you, you do too," I say, looking him up and down. He's wearing a black sweater and jeans.

    He gets on his shoes and we go to his car. His hair has gotten longer since we met. I really like it. Kenna calls it prince hair. Whatever it is, I like it. He says he's going to cut it soon but I'm going to try to prolong it as much as I can. He hands me his phone and grabs my hand. I go to the Sunflower playlist and hit shuffle.

    "You belong among the wildflowers.You belong in a boat out at sea. Sail away, kill off the hours. You belong somewhere you feel free."

    Over this past month I have trained myself to enjoy these simple moments with Harry. He leaves in April to start therapy and I'm so proud of him that he is finally getting help. It's just when he leaves I'm going to revert back to the same Leah I was before I met him. I know we'll still talk and stuff but he's not going to be there to help me through stuff like he is now. And I'm going to miss him, a lot. Like an inexplicable amount. You would think we have been married for twenty years the way that I'm talking about how much I'm going to miss him. I try not to focus on it considering how far away it is but it's really hard not to think about it when your favorite person is leaving you. But it's for a good reason, he's not leaving me to leave me. Harry's really upset that he has to leave in April too, he's even tried to back out of it but I won't let him. This is what he needs.