"you think fangs and a little danger could scare me away? Think again, Mr Cullen."
book one in emward series, book 2 for continuity of my twilight series, rehab - - C. Swan predates this. Jasper and Alice are just best friends in this fanfic.
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ONCE I REACH THE RECEPTION, I SEE THAT ALICE AND JASPER ARE DISTRACTED, SETTLING THE COSTS WITH THE STRANGE EMPLOYEE. THIS IS MY WINDOW OF OPPORTUNITY; IT'S NOW OR NEVER.
Steathly, I creep past the two, who luckily cannot hear my thoughts or detect my presence. I wish I had the time to write them an apology note, but I only had time for the one. I had to write to Edward, to bare my soul to him and leave this life with no unfinished business, and to make sure he could fulfil my role of the glue that held my family unit together, to be the ear and the shoulder that comforted my friends, I need him to do what I can't. Edward is fully capable of abiding to my wishes and looking out for those I love, even decades later, from afar.
I know that I will live on in the hearts of those who knew me, and I've made my peace with that. I'm ready to face my demon, I'm ready to face that bastard James, I'm ready to make the ultimate of sacrifices.
Thankfully, a taxi cab was already pulled up outside the motel. I'd changed clothes this morning. I'm now wearing a peach coloured hoodie and grey joggers with white pumps. In my pocket, I'd stuffed some money into it that I'd stashed away in a pair of my socks in my duffle bag.
Tapping my knuckles onto the window, I anxiously glance over my shoulder into the motel. Thankfully, Alice and Jasper are still relaxed, my absence unbeknownst to the two of them.
"Where to, honey?" The elderly cabbie asks when his window has wound down. His aqua eyes glimmer with kindness. Hastily, I yank open the front passenger door and throw myself onto the seat, positioning my hood to conceal my visage.
"Galerie d'art ancien.', please." I request, the cabbie' s eyes flood with concern, frown lines sinking into his previously jovial features.
"Say, ain't that the place Mayor Brodeur abandoned?" He guesses, the bewilderment is evident within his voice.
"That's the one, sir." I nod. He fiddles with his watch, anxiously before looking up, again.
"Maybe it isn't any of my business, but that place can't be safe." He cautions.
"Please, it's important!" I assure him, moving my hood slightly so that he can detect the desperation in my irises. I clutch a handful of notes, not even bothering to count up the value, and chuck it onto the dashboard before the man. "Keep the change for your trouble."
He snatches the money from the dashboard and flicks through it, before holding a handful of notes back into my direction. "Sweetie, this is far too much."
Carefully, I close his fingers around the stack of money. I won't need this money for much longer and the man seems like a good person, he deserves this money, he'll get use of it once I'm gone. I like to look at this gesture as a final parting gift of good will before I leave everything behind. "Trust me, sir, you'll make more use of it than I will." I assure him, ensuring that I hide my sadness.
"But how will you get h-."
"Not to worry, I have that all planned out." I lie, my voice certain.
"Please call me Llyod." He smiles at me as he roars the engine into life. Just as the cab is turning away from the hotel, I can see the unmistakable dainty outline of Alice racing to check that the scrap car is still there. I managed to get out of there in the nick of time.
"Me and my daughters used to visit that place, you know." Llyod reminisces with a beam of fondness and a twinkle to his kind turquoise orbs. "They're all grown up now, though. Eden has a family of her own, three children now. Amelie, too is married. And my youngest, my little Veronica, she's studying at the University here."
As the man told me more and more about his children and his life during that short journey, it really did strike a chord with me. I would never graduate, I would never get to see the Eiffel Tower, I would never get to see New York at Christmas, I'd never visit London, I'd never visit the rainforests of Brazil- all these places I'd never see. I'd never get married, hell, I wouldn't even go to prom. As much as I loathe the idea of attending the prom, in my last moments, I would do whatever it takes to be able to go. To dance with my friends, with my sister, with the man I love, to have Charlie Swan issue one of his famous police chief lectures.
But this is the right thing to do, the right path to take and ultimately, the path that will result in my very early demise. One single loss in exchange for the safety of many is justified in my eyes, I'll lay down my life to save those I love.
I don't want to be remembered as a hero, I don't want to be hailed and worshipped for my sacrifice. All that I am is a mere human girl who values love and loyalty above her own life, one who didn't die in vain, but died to give those she loved a beautiful, unconflicted future.
Bella will go to prom, she will graduate, she will marry someone, she may have children - should she chose to. And me? I'll watch over her, proudly as I sit atop of my fluffy cloud, knowing I sealed this glorious fate that she deserves.
Charlie, he would have Bella and his friends to get him through it, and I'd live on in his memory, in his heart. I'll be sure that I pay him visits on the regular, making my presence known. He'll have many years ahead of him. He is the best father I could have wished for.
My friends at Forks High will probably only grieve me briefly and then I'll become that girl that died when they were teenagers. They'll move on from it and have human lives, full of love and free of the complications of the supernatural world I became acquainted with, thankfully.
My friends at the Reservation will be hit harder than my human friends; like the large family they are, they'll band together and aid each other in the healing process. I don't believe that I'll ever truly leave their minds, but I do believe they'll be able to live their lives undisturbed. Jake and Bella will weld each other's broken parts back together.
And the Cullens, they'll have forever to combat the grief. Like Esme with her son, they will feel saddened when they speak of me, on rare occasions, I hope, but they'll be able to carry on. They'll move, they'll do the travelling that I wish that I could have done in my life. They will carry my memory for the rest of eternity, and that's enough for me.
For Edward, it will ache and he will yearn for the days that he held me, that he kissed me, just those days when he was simply in my presence. I hope, though, he'll return to my letter. I hope that when he is feeling void of purpose, he will retrieve the letter and find his purpose. That he will look out for those I love and their descendants after that. That he will do what I won't be able to, and the rest.
I'll watch him from the sky, adoringly and be flooded with pride. I'll be sure to float down and wrap my ethereal whispy arms around his marble waist, to surround him in my aura, to comfort him on the nights his soul sinks to the lowest depths. I love you, I'm sorry I didn't say it when I could.
