Clean // Niall Horan Fan Fiction

Chapter Twenty Nine

Niall took a slow sip of his beer. He had been sitting on the couch in his father's living room for about as long as he had been there. He wanted to do something, but it almost seemed as he had been too busy self wallowing to get anything done. He rolled his head back letting out a groan, he wished he was home, he wished he would have followed Jillian. How could he have been so stupid to have let her go? His head hurt the more that he thought about it, so he didn't. At least, he tried his best not to, he didn't want to think about her, about going home, he wanted to stay here, hidden in his family home in Ireland where he couldn't be hurt, where his heart wouldn't be broken.

"Niall, c'mon mate we gotta get going." His father's voice filled the living room. Niall shut his eyes trying to ignore his father's constant nagging. "Niall what the hell are you doin' you gotta get up. We have to leave, we're having dinner at your brother's." His dad repeats and Niall mumbles a response.

"I know, I just... I want to stay here." Niall mumbled lamely shrugging his shoulders. Niall scratched his head letting out a yawn. "Why don't I just meet you there, I need to do a few things anyways." Niall says looking over at his dad who is giving him a pointed look.

"Niall you haven't gotten off your ass since you got here. It's Christmas eve for Christ's sake!" His dad says throwing his hands up. Niall rolls his eyes letting out a sigh.

"I know I know, I'm going to be there, just give me an hour- at least." Niall said raking his fingers through his hair. His dad let out a sigh muttering something about kicking Niall's ass if he isn't there. When his dad shut the door Niall fell back into the couch groaning loudly. His arms covered his face and he took a deep breath. He could go about this two ways, he could either stay on the couch wallowing in sadness, or he could get up and make the best of his Christmas even if it was pretty shitty for him. It seemed to take him some time but he finally chose the latter, getting off of the couch and heading up the stairs and into the shower.

**

After Niall's shower he felt better, his head was a bit more clear and he was able to focus on other things rather that Jillian. Hastily, he ran his fingers through his hair adjusting the cream color sweater adorning his torso. A scowl formed on his face as he stared in the mirror, he'd forgotten his hair gel at home and he didn't want to settle for the one in his dad's house. He stayed in the bathroom for a while longer hopelessly running his fingers through his hair trying to style it to perfection, after a few more minutes he let out a sigh and heading out of the bathroom.

Niall walked back into the guest room where he was staying, finding his ringing cell phone and pulling it off of the charger. "Hello," Niall asked pressing his ear to the device.

"Niall where are you?" His brother's voice filled his ears. Niall cradled the phone between his ear and shoulder.

"I'm looking for my keys." Niall said running down the stairs.

"You're coming right, cause dad says he'll kick your ass if you don't, and so will I." His brother's light tone causes Niall to smile.

"I'll take you both, with one hand tied behind my back I will." Niall laughs finding his keys stuffed between the couch cushions. His brother's laugh comes through the phone followed by a bit of shuffling and Niall heads towards the door.

"Dropped the phone." His brother says coming back into the speaker.

"You're such an ass." Niall laughs shaking his head. "Look I'm heading out I'll see you when I get there." Niall says before saying goodbye. Niall shoves his phone into his pocket and opens the door. When he does his stomach drops, there stands the beautiful blue eyed girl that's stolen his heart. Her hand is in the air as if she's about to knock, a wide eyed expression on her face. "Jillian." Her hand falls limply to her side as she stares at him, he watches as she licks her lips and takes a deep breath.

He would of thought he was dreaming if it wasn't for Jillian taking him by suprise and pushing him into the house and against the wall. Her lips pressed against his roughly and Niall was so suprised he almost didn't react. Finally Niall wrapped his hands around her waist and he kissed her back as if Jillian was his only source of oxygen. Her hands were in his hair, pulling gently and Niall groaned, that's all Jillian needed for her to slip her tongue into his mouth.

Her words were soft as she pulled away from him just enough to speak. "I'm sorry, so sorry, Niall." Her voice was hoarse as she spoke, Niall's hands held her tighter, afraid that if he didnt she would disappear. "I-I love you Niall, and... and I'm scared, so fucking scared to love you." He watched as the tears fell from her eyes. "Everyone I've ever loved has left me and I can't watch you leave Niall I don't think I'd be able to handle it. I don't how you fell in love with me, and I don't think I want to. All I know is that I love you and I'm really fucking scared."

"I didn't," Niall says shaking his head. "I didn't fall in love with you.To fall in love you don't choose it, it just happens. Jillian, this didn't just happen, I chose to love you, I was aware of every second that it happened. It took a hell of a time to see that, but Jillian I swear to you that there isn't anything I'd rather be than in love with you."

"Where does that leave me when you've had your fill and decide to leave?" Jillian asks, her voice cracking.

"I'm not going to leave Jillian, I don't think I'll ever get enough of you." Niall says truthfully.

"So where does this leave us?" Jillian asks looking up at Niall.

"I've been yours ever since I saw you at that hospital." Niall says looking down at Jillian.

"I'm not going to promise you that I'll be able to love you the way you want me to all the time, I'm pretty sure I haven't loved you the way you wanted me to recently but Niall, I love you, and I'll love you with all I have because you are all I have Niall. You're everything to me." Jillian rambles and Niall smiles as he leans down placing his lips onto hers.

"I love you." Niall whispers down at her, his lips brushing against hers.

"I love you too Niall." Jillian replies kissing him softly. Niall

***

Last chapter before the epilogue oops.