Variables | Joshaya ✔︎

Do It For Me

𝕞𝕒𝕪𝕒

Josh takes a seat next to me at the bay window soon after Farkle and Riley leave the room.

"Is everything okay? It seems like I interrupted something important," Josh asks as he wraps his arm around my waist, and I immediately shake my head.

"No, I will say that what we told you about, us talking about Farkle and Dillon's first encounter was completely true, and he was probably here for like 5 minutes before that," I explain, and Josh nods.

"So... why were they in such a hurry to leave?" he asks.

"Well, Riley knows about us, and you know her," I say, and he nods, "I'm assuming that she told Farkle, which I'm perfectly fine with; it was inevitable."

He laughs lightly and nods as I shrug, but then his demeanor changes to straight faced and serious, "Is there any chance that we could talk about what happened earlier?"

I nod, "Ask away."

He smiles, which comforts me as he asks, "What happened outside of Forever 21?"

"I honestly don't know," I admit, "But it's probably something to do with the 'contract' that we made when we got together."

He nods for me to continue, "What about it?"

"Well, I know we never talked about it," I start, "But what about a public relationship?"

He nods, "Yeah, but I would think that you would want to tell Riley f- ohhhh," he says, realization hitting himself, along with guilt, "I'm so sorry, I knew that, but I still called Cory and freaked out to him, letting him know that we're more than friends. Shit. I ruined us."

My eyes went wide as he admits these things to me. Of course, I knew them, but I never thought that he would admit them himself to me.

"-and even later, I ruined it when I practically made you admit to Cory and Riley that we were together. Ugh, I seriously am a dumbass, and you knew it-" he continues to ramble, but I am quick to shut him up by moving to sit on his lap, placing a passionate kiss onto his amazing lips.

He resists for a few seconds but I mutter, "Just kiss me Boing."

We both melt into each other as he kisses me back, placing his hands on my waist.

About 3 minutes later, we pull away, and I see Josh's red face and know that I'm probably the same color right now, if not even more red.

"As much as I love this, I don't deserve this," he says, and I sigh as he places me back down next to him, "I don't deserve you anymore, I made a huge mistake and it's going to cost me."

"Josh," I start, but he cuts me off, tears threatening to fall from my eyes.

"No Maya, don't. I don't deserve you, and I never will. I don't know what I was thinking when I thought that maybe I did deserve you, but reality always comes and bites me in the ass and reminds me that I'll never be good enough, and we can never be," he says, standing up. Tears are now freely falling down my face as he starts to walk to the door.

"Josh, please," I choke out as I quickly make my way to him before he leaves, but Josh holds up his hand to stop me from continuing. Before, I wasn't looking at him; but now, I look him in the eyes and see the guilt in his eyes as his own tears start to fall and he leaves the room, and I hear in the distance a door close, signaling to me that he left.