Variables | Joshaya ✔︎

For Forever

𝕞𝕒𝕪𝕒

When we get to the apartment, Gabi is fast asleep in my arms, and I'm close to falling asleep myself.

"AbababaBA!" Dillon screeches, making Gabi jolt awake.

"Shh.... it's okay Gabi, go back to sleep," I whisper calmly to her, and she places her head back on my shoulder as I gently play with her hair. I look over at Josh, who now has Dillon in his arms, bouncing him up and down lightly.

"Sorry," he whispers, "you should go to bed, you look exhausted."

I sigh and shake my head, "No, I can't go to bed when he's awake; it drives me nuts, but it's the way it is."

He smiles at me lovingly as Dillon continues to babble his little head off.

We sigh in exasperation, laughing together as Dillon continues. Gabi sighs contently against my chest.

"Let's just go into a bedroom, Gabi needs sleep," I say, and he nods.

We both go to my room and I place Gabi on the bed, while he pulls open the covers and tucks her in.

"Mommy," she whines, reaching her arms back out to me. I sigh and get in next to her, her immediately cuddling next to me.

"Can you go grab Dillon's blanket? I can feed him and he'll probably be ready to sleep afterwards," I whisper to Josh as he hands me Dillon and I start to get him situated. Josh comes in not a second later with the blanket, so I lift up my shirt and Dillon almost immediately latches on, and I'm pleasantly surprised as I realize that I haven't he hasn't been fed like this in at least a few days. You would think that he would need daily/constant doing of something, some sort of repetition so that he remembers what to do and how to do it. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining. It's nice.

About 30 minutes later, he starts to coo from under the blanket, so I remove the blanket and bring him against my chest, burping him softly. Thankfully, he burps within the first minute and I sigh in relief, knowing that he'll be out cold momentarily.

As I swaddle Dillon in his blanket and start to rock him softly, I look over to where Josh is; he's now sitting on the edge of the bed, looking at me lovingly.

"I love you so much," he mutters, making my heart soar.

"I love you too," I reply, giving him a quick kiss.

I look back down at Dillon and sigh in relief, seeing that he's out cold. Thank god.

I go to place him in his little bassinet on the side of my bed, but the second I place him in there, he wakes up and cries, squirming in the bassinet. Oh god; it's one of those nights.

I pick him back up and place him against my chest, leaning against the headboard. He immediately calms down and snuggles into my chest, and I hear Josh sigh.

"Seriously?" he whispers, and I nod.

"Some nights, I barely get any sleep cause he can't stay asleep in the bassinet or his crib, so I have to try to fall asleep sitting up. But, most of the time, there's no use," I explain.

"Geez," he breathes out, running his fingers through his hair as he leans back on the headboard, "Now I really don't understand how you still act so energetic and happy all the time."

"I guess it's just a habit," I say, just as Dillon passes out on my chest and I feel my eyes start to get droopy. It's been a long day.

"Here, put your head on my shoulder," he says.

"You sure?" I mutter after yawning.

"Yeah; Gorgeous, you need to sleep," he says, and I nod as I lean my head onto his shoulder, Dillon still out cold against my chest.

"Goodnight Maya," he says as he starts to play with my hair, making it even harder to keep my eyes open.

"Goodnight Boing," I reply, barely above a whisper and with a small smirk as Josh chuckles lightly just as my eyes are finally able to flutter shut, a surprisingly perfect night's sleep going into affect.

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I wake up in the exact position I fell asleep to: with Dillon asleep in my arms, Gabi asleep right next to me, and Josh is 'behind me,' (my back is against his side), also sleeping soundly. Josh and I are surprisingly still sitting practically upright against the headboard.

I sigh in comfort as I feel Josh's arm on my waist, and I start to think over something: the list. I move Dillon to one side of my chest and use my now free hand to quietly grab the list from my bedside table. I grab a pen and start to add a few more 'topics,' cause now I realize that a lot of parts of our relationship has changed since we made this. I place Dillon in his bassinet, knowing that he's way past passed out, and I still have at least another hour anyway. Once he cuddles into his blanket in the bassinet, I sigh and put my attention back onto the list in my hands.

I start to go through it, and see how much that we've gone against in the past month or so, written or unwritten, but it wasn't just Josh; I did too, but I don't regret a thing.

But when I do look over it, I realize that we didn't go against as many as I thought. I write in our public relationship immediately, but then my mind goes to something else; What about Gabi, and her calling Josh 'Dad'?

Honestly, I think it would be adorable if Gabi called him dad, but I don't really want to jinx our relationship. On the other hand, Josh is it for me, I can't picture myself with anyone else. But does he believe that? Will he l-

"I'm not leaving Maya," I hear, making me jump lightly, but not enough to wake up Gabi.

My brows knot together, How did he do that? I didn't say anything out loud.

"Maya, I can tell that you're thinking about it, the back of the pen is pressing on the public relationship part and you looked like you were thinking hard about something important," he says.

"I just, I don't want to jinx us," I mutter, "I don't want Gabi to start calling you that and for us to break up. That would kill her."

"We can't hide us forever," he says, "And honestly, she'll probably start to call me it soon, whether we tell her she can or not. And you know I'm not trying to be selfish or anything, it's just since she calls you mom, when she notices us together she'll put two and two together. She's a smart kid."

I nod softly and smile down at the still fast asleep Gabi. I then turn my attention back to the list and then look up to Josh, handing the pen and the list. He sighs and looks at me warily, but I give him a reassuring smile and he smiles back.

He then writes it in and I can't help but smile as I think of something.

"Wait," I say, making him stop.

"What?" he asks, and I take the piece of paper from him, ripping it up.

"Wha-" he starts as I grab the pen, writing out one word.

"Trust," I breathe out, "I love you, and I trust you so much while taking care of Dillon and Gabi, I think I can spread that to all of you."

"I trust you too, and I love you so damn much," he responds.

Josh is it for me, I can't picture myself with anyone else but him, for forever.

𝐴𝑙𝑙 𝑤𝑒 𝑠𝑒𝑒 𝑖𝑠 𝑠𝑘𝑦, 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟.
𝑊𝑒 𝑙𝑒𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑙𝑑 𝑝𝑎𝑠𝑠 𝑏𝑦, 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟.
𝐹𝑒𝑒𝑙𝑠 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝑤𝑒 𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝑔𝑜 𝑜𝑛 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑤𝑎𝑦.

𝑇ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑤𝑎𝑦. ♡︎

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Word Count: 1336
Hey all! Hope you guys enjoyed! The part about Dillon not falling asleep, that's actually a true story. I like to think it shows the insane amount of love for their family and others ❤️