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Chapter 8

A T H E N A

"Help me, it's like the walls are caving in. Sometimes I feel like giving up but I just can't, it isn't in my blood"

° ° °

You are so fucking stupid and dumb.

I lean my head against the glass of the car and drown in my own thoughts. Right after the incident that has happened lunch was pretty awkward. I've come to realize that what I'm doing is pretty dumb and stupid of me and that ruining Vincenzo's life is actually pretty shitty.

I actually thought about taking a couple of steps back, and grow up. But something keeps me from doing that. I still can't let go of the things he did to me, even though I thought I was.

I start re-thinking my plan, and think about what made Vincenzo lust after the 18-year-old me. Is there something not attractive about me, right now? 

Does he not like me anymore? Or wait, has he ever liked me, before? Maybe he has grown tired of me and isn't interested me anymore.

I can't quit this.

I don't want to give up, I don't want him not to know how it feels like when your heart is broken. It's a terrible ache, and I was so in love with him, but then he ripped my heart out.

It was the innocence.

I have to contain a gasp at the realization. It was the innocence that attracted him to me. He liked how oblivious I was, and how innocent I was, my body untouched.

He liked to taint it.

I clench my jaw together. Maybe...

I'm being pulled out of my thoughts at the car pulling up in front of our house, and we all step out.

Without saying anything I enter the house and rush upstairs, into my room. I swallow back the tears of humiliation. I feel so fucking stupid and dumb. How could I be so desperate for his destruction? I moved too fast. I was too greedy...

Don't lower yourself to his level.

° ° °

Two days have passed since my parents and I visited Vincenzo, and I'm getting desperate. In a week, I'll leave to New York again, so I won't see him and it's irritating me why that thought irks me. I go downstairs and put my shoes on, waiting for mom. 

We're going out to have lunch with some friends of her and with Chris.

The outfit I'm wearing is something I would wear when I was a teenager. The doorbell rings, and I open the door, revealing a smiling Chris.

"Chris!" I yell excited and throw my arms around him. It feels like forever since I last saw him. But soon I'll get tired of him when we're back on campus.

"Hey," he chuckles and hugs me back. Chris and Lucy are the only ones with whom I feel comfortable and myself with. 

I hear a pair of heels walk into the hall, and I turn my head to see my mom walking over to us, a smile playing around her nude-colored lips and her hair straightened out. She puts on her jacket.

"Do you have everything, Athena?" she asks while stuffing something in her purse. "Yes mom," I say for what feels like the hundredth time and untangle my hands from Chris' neck.

I rake a hand through my hair, and get in the car with Chris following behind me. "So, Chris, have you met any cute guys on campus?" mom asks once she's seated in the car. From the corner of my eye I see him blush and look down at his lap.