Your Man, Jin | Kim SeokJin ✔

I want to be touched

It has been a day your mother passed away, you couldn't bring yourself to go to your apartment as you know your mother wouldn't be there to run after you or hug you tight and say that everything will be alright, there is a soaring pain burning deep within your soul.

You have locked yourself up in the bedroom of Jin's house, you don't want to face anyone not even Jin, you regret not giving your mother enough of your time, you blame yourself for not even knowing that she was in pain and dying, you didn't know anything.

There is a man outside the door of the room, your man Jin, extremely worried for you as he knocks but you don't respond, you can see the shadow of his foot beyond that closed door but you can't bring yourself to open the door, you need time to heal or maybe to regret.

Jin is staying near the door for the whole night, waiting for you until you finally unlock it in the morning, your swollen eyes are the evidence that you have cried the night.

"Are you okay?" he gets up from the floor gazing at you.

"I am sorry to lock the door," your feeble voice profess "I am sorry to be a burden" your head low as you say.

"Don't say this, please and don't be sad, it breaks my heart" he lifts your chin up but you don't utter a word further, he is waiting for you to open up to him and tell all of your pain but you don't.

You have become quieter as the days pass, you aren't that carefree child anymore, Jin is trying hard to make you happy, he has brought a lot of DVDs, some are your favourite movies while some are your favourite albums but nothing attracts your anymore.

The word of your mother's death is spread in the school with a few students sharing their deepest condolences while others talking within themselves.

"I am sorry about your loss" Eun Woo comes to you one day as you sit on one of the stairs of the playground, it is your games period with you still mourning the loss "I am always there if your need a friend to talk to" he says looking at you while you are looking at the folded letter your mother wrote, her last, you are keeping it with you.

"Thanks" you say without making an eye contact.

"Take care" he adds, hesitating a bit before he caress your head.

You are the quite one now at home with Jin blabbering around, telling you different stories, so opposite of his nature, he is always up to making some or the other plans to take you out to some place for a vacation but you mostly make excuses or totally neglect his plans until one day you find suitcases packed after you come from school.

"Are you going somewhere?" you ask after your see the suitcases resting in the hall.

"We are" Jin smiles showing you two plane tickets "grandmother got the ticket for us so I couldn't say no" he sits on the couch keeping the tickets on the table " we are leaving at seven" he adds before stuffing his head in the laptop.

"I don't feel like going" you say but Jin seems like he doesn't hear "I don't feel like going" you repeat shaking him this time.

"Tell this to grandmother and not me" he stretches his lips passing you his phone.

You hurry to cut the call as you don't have the courage to say no to grandmother, you suddenly find yourself going to Jeju island contrary to your wish, Jin has made all the arrangements and there are countless surprises waiting for you from flowers to presents to the giant teddy bear to the most exquisite candlelight dinner, everything that you once wished for after watching the movies.

Jin, like the man of dreams, has made sure to remember your likings and desires, you are pretending to be surprised and happy but Jin knows it well that this is not the real you from the older times who used to laugh wholeheartedly who was to cute to be stupid.

You are walking on a beach after you had your dinner, the pitch black night meeting somewhere with the sea, the air is exceptionally cold to be out at this hour but you still are moving ahead to an endless path in silence.

"Will you hold some of the sand for me in your hand?" Jin finally breaks the silence this time.

"Why?" you peer at him, confused if you heard it right.

"Will you?" he says it again, gazing at you, you bend down to grab a hand full of sand without a further explanation "Hold it tightly" he adds after you are back up.

"It is slipping from my palm" you say looking at your hand after you try to clench your fist harder.

"Exactly, the more you try to cling onto something the most you lose it, learn to let go if it is gone and appreciate if it stays, live the moment that is waiting for you, right now, right here like Ichigo Ichie" Jin says before he walks ahead of you while you stay still.

His words are clear and you understand what you have to let go and what you need to appreciate right this moment, 'I need to let go of my pain and cherish Jin' you whisper as you walk faster to match Jin's pace, this is something your mother wanted, to be happy with Jin.

You are back to the hotel room with Jin, he changes himself in his pyjamas and is off to sleep, you too lie next to him on the bed after you change in a long sleep top, his back facing you, your hands are under your face as you gaze at his broad shoulder before you call him.

"Jin" you whisper, pulling the white fabric above his back "I am sorry" you manage in a heavy breath "look at me, please"

He turns to you and what you see next breaks your heart in a thousand pieces, the tears flowing out of his ocean eyes crossing the bridge of his nose, this is the first time you are seeing a man cry in your life and that too, for you.

"You are crying" you wipe his tears, your face lies parallel to his.

"Tonight, I want a gift from you" his eyes are the mirror to his soul "give me all of your pain, please" you want to capture those pearls coming out of Jin's eyes.

'I don't think I can pretend to not remember our first kiss anymore' you think as you shift forward close to Jin, you know he deserves to be loved and appreciated.

You are ready to hold his devastated self, you rest your lips on him like its a shadow and taste the sweetness his satin lips has before you say "I want to be touched" in a pause.

He cannot resist you, you are all that he needs and he wants to pour all of his love out, there is an undeniable passion you both feel, Jin's tongue plunged between your lips, tasting you, he comes over you and your body seems like it's melting beneath his warm skin, he can feel you as his fingertips traces your skin, you have never been touched before so the movements are like sparks on your body.

Your breaths are abrupt, there is a bittersweet pain you experience when his necklace tickles you over your collar bone, you hurry to open his shirt buttons mindlessly before running your hand over his broad chest. he is giving you a countless kiss from your forehead to your cleavage, his hands claiming your tiny waist underneath your top, he is on the verge of losing all of him to all of you, his roaring breaths and moans are giving chills down your spine.

"No" he stops suddenly.

"Why did you stop?" You turn to him after he lays back to his side of bed, breathing heavily.

"We have got time" he manages, giving you the last kiss of the night on your forehead.

"Love me" you slip over him, you want to love him until your body learns his.

"It's difficult to resist something that I really want but you are still too young for this" he wraps you in his arms "let's just stay like this" he adds making you lay on his bare chest.

The way he holds you is like you are ethereal and this is greatest to any sort of lovemaking in the world.

[A/n]

Unedited

Ichigo Ichie (Japanese word/phrase)- Living the present because every moment is once-in-a- lifetime opportunity!

Ethereal- extremely delicate, out of this world!