ENTRIES

Jasmine

I still can't believe that Jason cheated on me. I've dodged his calls for 2 days now but I still respond to his texts. I don't know how to confront him. I just want to pretend that nothing has happened but I can't forget what I saw. All I can see is him kissing me and then him kissing her. And each time I think of that, my eyes start tearing.

My parents have noticed that something's wrong but they haven't pushed me to tell them the reason. It is also a relief that my sister is not home, that's one less person to answer to. I have never felt so much pain ever in my life, not even when I broke up with Mathew. I haven't left my room all day except to eat.

I got up from my bed and washed my face. I could hardly recognise myself in the mirror. I saw a girl with puffy red eyes and tears streaming all down her face. She looked miserable. She felt miserable.

All the sweetest, most treasured moments of my life turns out to be one big lie. How was I supposed to handle that?. The guy I love cheated on me. I thought he loved me. I guess that was one of his lies. I didn't want to be a pathetic loser who got cheated on but that was who I was now.

I couldn't sleep all night. I tossed and turned and even though of taking sleeping pills. When I close my eyes I immediately start remembering all the kisses we have shared and all our good memories. When the pain became too much to handle, I took my phone and called Ash. It took some time for him to pickup the phone, but after a couple of rings I heard his voice.

"Jas? What happened? Is there something wrong?", his voice was thick with sleep

"Ash, everything is wrong with my life. There isn't a single thing that's right", my voice broke.

"Jasmine?Are you crying? What's wrong?", he sounded very concerned

"Jason cheated on me with Mia",the pain in my voice was unmistakable

"What the fuck! How on the hell did this happen", he sounded very angry.

I explained how I went to the party and later how I saw them making out at his home.

"That fucking asshole", he said when I was done with the story telling

"I just feel so much pain that I can't feel anything else right now. What did I do for him to cheat on me?", I cried

"Jasmine, you are strong and you are gonna come out of this. Jason is an idiot and he doesn't deserve you", he said

"If he was unhappy he could have just come clean and told me that. I wouldn't have felt so bad then, I would have understood"

I continued to cry for sometime and Ashel consoled me. It was sometime before I felt a little better.

"I must be sounding so pathetic, calling you at midnight and crying over a boy", I said

"No you don't. You don't sound pathetic. When something like this happens everyone takes some time to heal. That's all"

"I thought he loved me"

"I know that it's not okay now and you deserve so much better than that asshole but trust me this is gonna get better. You are going to heal. Eventually everything will be okay" , he said

"Maybe you are right. Maybe this happened for the best"

"Of course it did. By the way did you talk to him?"

"No"

"You have to confront him"

"I know. But I don't want to"

"I'm here Jas. Everything is going to be okay"

We talked for a long time and after sometime I felt a little better. I got around 2 hours of sleep and that felt like a great achievement. I got up from bed and took a shower. I felt a lot better by the time I went downstairs to eat.

As I ate breakfast, I thought about the decision I had to make. I knew that I had to hear what Jason had to say but I also knew that I had to talk to someone I trusted. I decided to talk to my mum.

I slowly approached her as she was working in her room.

"Mum"

"Yeah honey", she looked up from her work.

"I have to talk to you", I said

" Is something up? Is it important? ", she asked me.

I nodded at her question. She got up from the seat.

"Go change now. We are going for a drive"

I quickly changed my clothes and tied my hair. Both of us got inside the car and she started driving.

"So tell me", she said.

I told her everything about me and Jason and how I felt about him. I told her about the party and what I saw. I told her how much it hurt me and how betrayed I felt. I felt a weight leave me once I was done telling her everything. She was silent for a few minutes.

"That's a lot of information", she said

"I know. I'm sorry that I didn't tell you this earlier"

"Jasmine I know how confused you are feeling right now. Sometimes screwed up things happen. But never doubt yourself",she said.

"I just don't know why he did this to me. I feel so blind sighted. When I thought everything was perfect... ", I trail off.

" Sometimes people make mistakes. To be honest I'd rather have you do nothing with him at all. But you have to talk to him", she said

"I know, mum. But what if he tells me that everything we ever had was a lie? I don't know if I'd be able to take it. My whole world would come crashing down. "

"No it won't. We all are here for you. You are going to move on and show him how wrong he was to cheat on you", she said

"Nothing is ever going to crush your spirit. You are a strong girl. You are going to be okay", she assured me.

By the time we were home it was late. I felt a lot better. I was going to get over this.

"Good night mum", I said

"Good night baby girl", she hugged me tight and kissed me on the forehead.

I changed into night clothes and climbed into my bed. Tomorrow was going to be a long day. But today I was going to sleep properly.

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