I can't lose you.

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Life is too short.

One day you'll have someone there with you, sharing precious moments and the next they'll just be taken from you, just like that.

In that moment, you're usually forced to make big life decisions. It could be life decisions relating to that specific event, or it could be something in your personal life.

When you recognize how fragile existence is, sometimes you're forced to take a look at your life to see if you're living it in a way that is satisfactory to you. And if not, eliminate the factors that are keeping you from living the life that you want. Or being happy.

That had been exactly what happened with Ashley.

She finally said enough was enough.

She loved Siya beyond words and comprehension but she needed to love herself enough to not settle for his infidelity anymore.

That's why she'd eventually confronted the boy. "Are you cheating on me?" She'd asked in a calm tone. She knew the answer to that but she wanted to hear him say it.

He never did, he just started crying instead and then fell down on his knees apologizing. That of course had Ashley crying too.

The love was still there, it remained. But what was love without trust? What was love without commitment?

They'd stayed on the floor for a while just reflecting on what was happening. The moment pretty much spoke for itself.

It was over.

Siya drove onto the driveway that was once his and sighed before getting out of the car.

It had been months since the separation but seeing her was still very difficult. It felt odd to not kiss her passionately when he saw her, or carry her so she reached his height.

"Hey", he'd greeted when she opened the door after he knocked. Something else he was still getting himself used to.

"She's still sleeping, we weren't expecting you so soon", she said letting him in. "Well I finished up early at gym and I thought I should just come straight here instead of going back to the hotel", he said truthfully. He would make up any excuse just to see her.

"Oh uhm, well I guess you can make yourself comfortable while you wait. She should be up soon", "would you like something to eat or drink", she offered making her way into the kitchen while he followed her.

"I'm actually a bit hungry yea. I'll have whatever you have", he said with a smile. He'd really missed her cooking. He'd been practically living on takeaways and he missed a homey meal.

"When is your shift at the hospital", the girl had asked as they sat down to eat the food she'd prepared for them.

"The schedule is pretty messed up right now. Nathan is not really letting us visit much 'cause he's always there", he said barely letting time pass between talking and eating.

Ashley nodded knowing what exactly the boy was talking about. Nathan stopped speaking to them after they'd kept the fact that Dineo was in a coma from him.

He wasn't speaking to anyone in the group because even after he came back from his honeymoon, they didn't say anything. He'd had to follow them to find out what was happening as they were acting strange.

When he got there, well.. things weren't pretty.

So now he spent every day at the hospital beside the girl, making it hard for everyone else to visit her as they were not allowed to be there at the same time as him.

"How's he doing?" Ashley asked as she put her food away. "I haven't seen him in a bit but last time I saw him he wasn't doing great", he said finishing what was left on the plate.

Dineo was like a sister to Nathan. Losing her would be like losing his sister all over again. The two understood that. Their bond was unmeasurable and they knew why the boy was mad at them.

They'd made that decision with his best interest at heart but that had come back to bite them because the very thing they sought to prevent was happening.

Which was that he was burying himself in a hole.

He blamed himself for everything.

It had all started when he told the girl that she was ugly and no one would ever love her. He gathered that she settled for Michael because she didn't think anyone else would want her. So she'd believed him when he said those words to her.

He hated himself for that.

Of course he didn't mean it. He'd spent a lifetime telling her how incredible and beautiful she was, the one time he wasn't in his right mind she believed him.

That is why you need to always be careful what you say to people he'd thought.

He also hated himself for the fact that he knew at the back of his mind what was happening. He knew what the bastard was doing to the girl but he didn't do anything about it. And when his friends insisted that he check on her, he'd declined. More than a few times.

He only cared about his happiness.

What kind of friend was he?

So as he sat beside the hospital bed of his barely there friend, he felt his heart break all over again.

They were going to switch off the machine that was holding her life, they'd told him that morning.
Keeping her alive was getting too expensive and her mother couldn't afford to anymore.

She'd battled a lot with that but was soon forced to face reality. She'd been drowning in debt from it and having to tell Nathan had been by far the hardest part.

"I can't lose you", Nathan whispered to the sleeping girl as tears streamed down his eyes. "They want to stop the machine but I can't let that happen", he continued barely keeping it together.

"I'm so sorry I never said this to you. I mean it's too late now but, "

"I love you."

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