Coming Home (English Version)

20. Low

Layla

My fingers draw gentle circles on his back, the sheets covering the bottom half of his body. When I'm with him it's as if everything is right in the world, or in my world at least. There's a sense of peace that won't let me think about anything else because there's only him and me. But now that he's asleep and I'm left alone with my thoughts, it's difficult to keep myself in the present and not wonder about the what ifs. What if the family knew? What would they say? I close my eyes at the painful image in my head because even in the rare case that they would approve of the two of us being together, the first thing they would suggest is a wedding and that scares me the most. Not to mention that marrying a man like Hamdan has many other implications. I would not only be tied to him for the rest of my life, I would be tied to Dubai as well and to his job. Because no matter what I do, his job will always be more important. Yes, of course we could travel the world, whenever his schedule allows us to do so. And when he finally becomes the Emir I can only see this getting worse. A complete surrender of all of me is what's necessary, could it be worth it?

I scoot closer and hug him from behind, planting little kisses on the side of his face. He grunts and begins to turn around.

"How long was I asleep?" He asks, surrounding me with his arm.

I settle on his chest. "Not too long, fifteen minutes maybe."

"I don't want to move for the rest of the day." He complains.

"You said you had some meetings in the afternoon." I remind him.

He grunts one more time. "I can cancel, it's not like they can fire me."

I chuckle. "Well, I'm seeing the girls later on. We're going shopping."

"Let's just stay here." He suggests.

I stay quiet because I do want to go shopping with my sisters and I do think he should attend his meetings. Becoming one inseparable couple makes my skin crawl. Wait a minute... couple? We're not a couple, we're a... Ugh! I don't even know, I don't want to put a label on it. Besides, he's still engaged and that's another topic I've been avoiding, but I know that we must talk about it.

"Okay, I get it." He says. "It's too much, I know, I know. You can go shopping and I will go to my meetings. But you cannot blame me for wanting to spend the whole day with you."

I push myself up and peck him on the lips. "It's not that I don't want to be with you, but it's just--"

"Too much." He finishes for me. "Like I just said."

I smile and my fingers move up to play with his hair.

"I feel so used." He admits. "Like a piece of meat."

I chuckle and let my head hang.

"Is that what I am to you?" He asks while straightening himself up to make me lay down.

My chuckle intensifies when he tickles my ribs and his beard caresses my neck.

"Best meat I ever had." I tease.

He abruptly stops the torture, eyebrows up on his forehead. "Really?"

I squint my eyes. "Is that surprising to you?"

He puffs. "What? No! Of course no, I already knew that."

I laugh at his fake confidence. How much we laugh is one of my favorite things about us.

"I love the sound of your laugh, you've always had the best laugh." His face turns serious and he leans down to kiss me.

I kiss him back and I'm immediately dropped into a daze that is soon interrupted by the one thought that hasn't left my mind since he arrived.